me and her are talking less and i know it doesn't mean shit but im scared that it'll lead to us going our own seperate ways why am i such a fucking pessimist

sometimes i feel like im not me and that im someone else
not in the did way but more in the 'im not like this why am i like this' kind of way
moreso because recently i've become more immature and it embarasses me i suppose ? idk

I havent felt even the slightest suicidal in a long time until today

I know i didnt get fucking nauseous over considering joining a vc i will die alone wont i

why cant me and my brother ever be like this why does he have to suck

i am at my lowest and i hate my family and i want it to end. i do not care that i fear death it would save me right now.

where is she im scarec

uhhh yah