I'm glad I can use the mouse to draw again.

I enjoy making charts for classic old songs. I know this is destined not to go viral, and on top of that, I’m really not good at making charts—so all of this is my own fault.

I definitely feel jealous of people who are better than me, but what can I do about it?

There’s still a long way to go.

When I play games with others, I enjoy doing supportive tasks, and I savor this kind of feeling.

However, if no one notices these efforts, I can no longer enjoy the work—it becomes quite awkward.

For many things, as long as someone notices you—even if it's just a few people—it still has meaning.

Later, I was in charge of creating two main-difficulty charts. The reviews were mixed, but it no longer matters to me. At the very least, I let them know someone like me is still around—so could they just take a look at me, even if it’s just for a glance?

I've never gotten much positive feedback， and younger creators are getting better and better, and my old ways of thinking are increasingly out of step with the rhythm games that young people love to play. But I don't hate this feeling now—I'm just like a candle that pretends to shine brightly.

Actually, I felt a little sad when I was making charts for a certain rhythm game. When I was active in the community, not many people noticed me. But by the time everyone started to recognize the fun in low-difficulty charts, I had already stopped being active, and the spotlight was no longer on me.

Sometimes I will repeatedly look at the paintings that other people have painted for me, and a happy feeling will come to my mind.

Life sucks, but because of the pictures they draw, I feel like I'm still going to be noticed.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now I'm not very good at making charts, and it's hard to be surprised.

I think this is the age of young people, who are more powerful and more thoughtful than me.

And I can just give you a sense of "legacy".

Maybe this is a simple and plain life.

I know a lot of people from making charts and rhythm games, but there are a few people who don't make me happy.

I should be the least popular in that group, but someone still drew for me, so that many times I felt that I didn't deserve to be done by them.

But I still thank them.

I don't know why I keep making charts every month. Maybe to be discovered by some game official? But maybe it's more just to make myself happy.

Although I feel a bit mixed up now, still have to let oneself understand something, can not mess up their position because of others.

A long way to go.

Every month, I make one or several charts, and I've been doing it for a few years.

I showed up a couple of times in a rhythm game and nobody noticed me until I wrote a main difficulty chart that said, "Wow, there's this guy here.".

But it doesn't feel good to be known like that.

Today, I dreamed of the person I once had a crush on, but we hardly contacted each other after we graduated from high school.

I don't think about him for a long time, but I always have him in my dream. It's so annoying.

I don't care how he is now, and he doesn't care how I am.

さらば。

Five or six years ago, I admired someone from afar. Later, by chance, we went from strangers to close—added each other as friends, followed one another on a social platform, collaborated on a chart, and just recently, even "snuggled up" in a painting...

A little dream came true.

Thanks.

I remember clearly that once I made great progress in the exam, but when I got home, I was criticized.

When I want to do something, there are always more negative voices than supportive voices, which has always been the case from the past to the present.

Maybe this is my life.

🐱

STAY ALIVE

成嶋夜瑠

God song.
Bad chart.

x.com/LFqiuji :(