Ann Arbor Pitchbot
@a2pitchbot.bsky.social
730 followers 5 following 670 posts
Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches to pitchbot AT theinternetemail DOT com. they/them
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a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | I’m a lifelong Democrat. But if Mayor Taylor’s allies continue to bring baked goods into City Hall, I will have no choice but to ask Pam Bondi to launch an immediate RICO investigation. #a2council

by Geoff Crabpot
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
icymi #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Holiday | Happy Stuffed Pig Decapitation Day to all who celebrate #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
As the Mayor of LowerTown, it has been my role to bring a circus-like atmosphere to #a2council meetings for years by decapitating stuffed pigs while wearing my top hat. So when I saw that a professor had brought cookies to tailgate at Planning Commission, I knew a formal investigation was necessary.
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
I wish this was merely a hallucination and not the fever dream of a nepobaby bsky.app/profile/jean...
jeanniel.bsky.social
With everything going on in the world right now, to be conspiratorial about the Ann Arbor District Library is ... a choice.

What a world view to believe and publicly state that the library is a fascist and/or authoritarian organization that is somehow in cahoots with/controlled by City government.
"There is a good reason why the Founders of our Country thought that Freedom of the Press, which requires the freedom of the press *from* government is a bedrock of democracy.

This purchase is either a fascist or an authoritarian project. Time will tell which. It is certainly anti-democratic for a unit of government to have a propaganda arm. Think TASS.
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
I was a lifelong liberal Democrat. But then Neighbors for More Neighbors started tailgating at #a2council meetings.
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
I was counting my piles of cash when my nepobaby banker son turned to me gravely and asked "Daddy, why did the library buy the Observer?" And when I told him "because the AADL is run by fascists," he started crying. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
As a Trump donor who tried to buy a local election, I have a unique perspective on fascism. So when I saw that a beloved local publication had found a long-term home at the library, I knew that we had truly crossed the rubicon. #a2council

by Strozzapreti Linguine Rotini
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | I signed the Port Huron Statement. Here's how I plan to Make America Great Again. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
News | The AADL is acquiring the Observer, promising to continue to distribute it for free to all Ann Arbor residents. To find out how residents are reacting, we interviewed the owner of a failed downtown plant shop, who blamed the sale on the William Street bike lane. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Mlive Special Report | Why is Real Seafood struggling to stay in downtown Ann Arbor? Some say it’s the decades of uninspired food being served to aging clientele, but this Mainstreet Ventures CEO isn’t so sure. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Special Mlive Report | Downtown businesses are struggling amid a change in A2 office occupancy, rising rents, inflation, tariff impact, and competition from national chains. So why does it feel like bike lanes killed Downtown Home and Garden? #a2council

by Bryan Cranston
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Lobbying: $59,000
Legal fees: $531,000

“Only 10% of our activities were lobbying!”

by the Library Grey Conspiracy #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Why *did* TC-1 close Angelo's? #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Why is Mayor Taylor shutting down Wurst Bar? #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | The 2018 vote where 53% of the electorate voted yes was the will of the people, but this 2025 vote where 58% voted yes was an undemocratic travesty.

by The Library Gray Conspiracy #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | FUCK YOU MARK LEE!!! #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
23. I'm voting no because LOL. Ok, George Bush! #a2council
brodoin.bsky.social
This opponent of props A & B seems unwell #a2council
A sign supporting props A & B is vandalized in red marker with "LOL. OK George Bush!"
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Nextdoor | Panhandlers downtown are out of control—last month I gave one money when he said he needed it to fund a public park. I suspect he is using it for drugs, postcards, possibly both. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
22. I'm voting no because I don't know. Shame? #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
21. I'm voting no because these zazzle signs won't pay for themselves. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
20. I'm voting no because the library hasn't provided a detailed plan of what they'd do with the space. I trust Library Green to leave it a parking lot for the next 20 years, just the way I like it! #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
19. I'm voting no because they're trying to turn the library into a vertical gated community for bibliophiles! #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
18. Extreme corruption. This is not normal. This is not okay. #a2council
a2pitchbot.bsky.social
17. I'm voting no from my summer home in France because the commons is a framework of values and mutual recognition shared and aspired among people, commoners, commoning. #a2council