“I’ll turn you Sephardic.” Ashkenazim beware.

If, while walking around the dovecotes exhibit, you spot a dove on the ground that’s exactly halfway between two of them, you have to leave the museum immediately.

The Jewish answer is of course that they’re both right

Talmid: Rebbe I need the bathroom may I leave shiur for a bit?

Rebbe: Ketanim or Gedolim?

Talmid: Gedolim

Rebbe: Fine but come back soon

*Talmid returns within 90 seconds*

Rebbe: How quick! I thought you said Gedolim!

Talmid: You know how it is with today’s Gedolim…

How about “that’s not a nice way to talk about players from the other team”