Was able to vent some to a friend and I feel a little better

I haven't played ets2 in so long but you're making me wanna play it again!

Friend, homo, sex... hmmm sounds fun ;3c

I still would want to fix things if I could but, I just don't know..

Just doesn't feel possible when things keep happening again and again.. I can't keep getting hurt before things even start to repair, smashing this plate until it's dust.

You can't break a plate, apologize, then have the plate be fixed. It's gonna be a lot of work tbh to get back to where we were, how things were before it all.. I just feel so fucking sick and tired and ill..

It feels sometimes like a part of me wants to self punish, or maybe I just have so much internalized shame.. Maybe it was bc of my dad..

I want to just freely accept the touch and affection of people close to me, but sometimes I get this twinge of discomfort, and I fucking HATE it