listen guys, we can't invade canada. we need canada. who are we going to pretend to be when when we travel in europe if not canadian?

With every passing day I better understand the mothers in Victorian novels who stay in their bedrooms with the curtains closed and complain vaguely about their “nerves.”

Until abortion is legal in every state, lets require men to get a mandatory vasectomy until they are proven emotionally mature, financially responsible and ready to be a father.
Wait, what do you mean regulations on men's bodies make you uncomfortable?