Please god why is my cat a terrorist

Coworker correctly guessed which stall I was in at work and my hole closed up like bank’s vault during a robbery.

I got so fucking gassed up by this girl I went to high school with the other day after running into her at a Stan’s donut 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Got scolded for asking to watch football at Friendsgiving like let me watch hot men run at each other

Gustav Dudamel conducting at Coachella???? I hope he pops his gustavussy during the planets

Brought in a Christmas mug to work for my tea and my gay coworker called me a faggot ://

Coworker just go served while at work and she’s parading the papers around that is CUNT

Me going to GameStop on the way to the Kiki to pick up surging sparks 🙂‍↕️