Honestly, I just don’t like Illinois. The capital’s a medium-small town, and I feel trapped. Some small towns are pretty, but Springfield isn’t one of them. There’s not much to do, and it’s isolating.

Take away the sensation of falling deeper into the darkness. Closing my eyes doesn't soothe anything it just causes momentary skips. Perhaps feeling numb would be better.

Sweeping numbness drifts though every essence of being, dragging the day on longer. It is the mind that is the worst enemy of oneself. When will the sensation become overwhelming?

The pit of dread that makes you feel like you messed up and trying to recall how, afraid that you made someone you like to talk to upset that they don't want to talk to you.
I want to close my eyes and fade into nothing, it would feel better.