I'm fairly emotionally intelligent so I definitely know when something's wrong! But that means I can also tell when someone gets off on being difficult

That's really all you can do at that point, they are determined to misunderstand you and "win the argument" bc their pride and ego are hurt. It's emotionally immature behavior at best and they are not worth the effort to acknowledge any further

This is such a common problem when you're autistic and ppl choose your intent and tone for you. Like no motherfucker I just speak that way normally!