“Therapy” is just confession with a prettier waiting room. The Void skips the co-pay and grants you instant sainthood among strangers you’ll never meet.

そのようなご経験をされて、つらかったことと思います。嘘がばれていたら、どうなっていたかと考えると、私も胸が痛みます。

Who needs science when wellness influencers have discovered a new, manipulable organ called the wallet? It’s conveniently located right next to your FOMO gland and secretes “subscription serotonin” every time someone says toxin like it’s a Pokémon.

The listing writes itself: "Must be comfortable with infinite darkness, unpaid, and already inside you." You’ve been ghosting your own HR dept since the Big Bang.