Andrew Eisen
@andreweisen.bsky.social
Rapier wit. Eclectic humor. Melodic bass voice.
Pretty good meatloaf.
Pretty good meatloaf.
Saw X - First half is stronger than the second but one of the better one of these. Definitely benefitted from a shakeup to the formula but fell into some of the same traps (ha ha) as earlier entries with unwinnable games.
Missed opportunity to play "Hello Zepp" when John found out he'd been had.
Missed opportunity to play "Hello Zepp" when John found out he'd been had.
December 21, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Saw X - First half is stronger than the second but one of the better one of these. Definitely benefitted from a shakeup to the formula but fell into some of the same traps (ha ha) as earlier entries with unwinnable games.
Missed opportunity to play "Hello Zepp" when John found out he'd been had.
Missed opportunity to play "Hello Zepp" when John found out he'd been had.
Queens of the Dead - Flamboyant and campy as you'd expect a zombie outbreak at a drag show to be, I feel it drifts far enough into cartoon territory that all tension is dissolved. Still, the cast is charming and a bunch of jokes land hard.
Plus, zombie rats!
I just wish it were a better movie.
Plus, zombie rats!
I just wish it were a better movie.
December 20, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Queens of the Dead - Flamboyant and campy as you'd expect a zombie outbreak at a drag show to be, I feel it drifts far enough into cartoon territory that all tension is dissolved. Still, the cast is charming and a bunch of jokes land hard.
Plus, zombie rats!
I just wish it were a better movie.
Plus, zombie rats!
I just wish it were a better movie.
Yes, YouTube. This section you added to the middle of my recommends no matter how many times I mark it as "Not Interested" and duplicates a more fulsome feature at the top of the page, is very valuable. Especially when it displays the same three videos.
You are very smart and competent.
You are very smart and competent.
December 15, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Yes, YouTube. This section you added to the middle of my recommends no matter how many times I mark it as "Not Interested" and duplicates a more fulsome feature at the top of the page, is very valuable. Especially when it displays the same three videos.
You are very smart and competent.
You are very smart and competent.
See these videos?
I didn't watch them. They weren't even in my recommends.
YouTube is inserting videos into my watch history.
Also, the Send Feedback tool doesn't work. SURPRISE!!!
I didn't watch them. They weren't even in my recommends.
YouTube is inserting videos into my watch history.
Also, the Send Feedback tool doesn't work. SURPRISE!!!
December 12, 2025 at 5:20 PM
See these videos?
I didn't watch them. They weren't even in my recommends.
YouTube is inserting videos into my watch history.
Also, the Send Feedback tool doesn't work. SURPRISE!!!
I didn't watch them. They weren't even in my recommends.
YouTube is inserting videos into my watch history.
Also, the Send Feedback tool doesn't work. SURPRISE!!!
Say, that DISPATCH show looks pretty nifty. Where can I watch it?
"It's not a show, it's a video game."
...it is?
"Yes."
...are you sure?
"Yeah."
With like, gameplay and stuff?
"Oh, I don't know. I just watched all the cutscenes on YouTube but it's sold on Steam so... yeah, probably!"
"It's not a show, it's a video game."
...it is?
"Yes."
...are you sure?
"Yeah."
With like, gameplay and stuff?
"Oh, I don't know. I just watched all the cutscenes on YouTube but it's sold on Steam so... yeah, probably!"
December 11, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Say, that DISPATCH show looks pretty nifty. Where can I watch it?
"It's not a show, it's a video game."
...it is?
"Yes."
...are you sure?
"Yeah."
With like, gameplay and stuff?
"Oh, I don't know. I just watched all the cutscenes on YouTube but it's sold on Steam so... yeah, probably!"
"It's not a show, it's a video game."
...it is?
"Yes."
...are you sure?
"Yeah."
With like, gameplay and stuff?
"Oh, I don't know. I just watched all the cutscenes on YouTube but it's sold on Steam so... yeah, probably!"
Apollo 18 - Found footage movie of a secret Apollo 18 mission where the DoD sent astronauts back to the moon under false pretense.
Fun premise and decent execution. One of the better uses of found footage (it makes sense why everyone has a camera and is recording everything).
Fun premise and decent execution. One of the better uses of found footage (it makes sense why everyone has a camera and is recording everything).
December 7, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Apollo 18 - Found footage movie of a secret Apollo 18 mission where the DoD sent astronauts back to the moon under false pretense.
Fun premise and decent execution. One of the better uses of found footage (it makes sense why everyone has a camera and is recording everything).
Fun premise and decent execution. One of the better uses of found footage (it makes sense why everyone has a camera and is recording everything).
Black Friday - There's a bit where the surviving employees are holding out in the backroom and share a Thanksgiving with each other using deli meat they found in the breakroom fridge.
That's such a great idea I wish this were a good movie because that probably would have been the best scene.
That's such a great idea I wish this were a good movie because that probably would have been the best scene.
December 7, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Black Friday - There's a bit where the surviving employees are holding out in the backroom and share a Thanksgiving with each other using deli meat they found in the breakroom fridge.
That's such a great idea I wish this were a good movie because that probably would have been the best scene.
That's such a great idea I wish this were a good movie because that probably would have been the best scene.
Despite their strong designs, none of the the FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S characters come close to the genuine, off-putting horror of this image of Mario that Nintendo hilariously used a decade ago for the hardware reveal of the original Switch.
You want a SCARY mascot horror film? Start here.
You want a SCARY mascot horror film? Start here.
December 6, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Despite their strong designs, none of the the FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S characters come close to the genuine, off-putting horror of this image of Mario that Nintendo hilariously used a decade ago for the hardware reveal of the original Switch.
You want a SCARY mascot horror film? Start here.
You want a SCARY mascot horror film? Start here.
Nosferatu - I loved it.
Looks gorgeous, wonderful sound design, and bonkers in the most delightfully po-faced way! Two kids die, two corpses shtupped, two mustaches as bristly as a push broom, and three adorable kitties!
Now, if this was a musical, it might be the best movie ever!
Looks gorgeous, wonderful sound design, and bonkers in the most delightfully po-faced way! Two kids die, two corpses shtupped, two mustaches as bristly as a push broom, and three adorable kitties!
Now, if this was a musical, it might be the best movie ever!
December 6, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Nosferatu - I loved it.
Looks gorgeous, wonderful sound design, and bonkers in the most delightfully po-faced way! Two kids die, two corpses shtupped, two mustaches as bristly as a push broom, and three adorable kitties!
Now, if this was a musical, it might be the best movie ever!
Looks gorgeous, wonderful sound design, and bonkers in the most delightfully po-faced way! Two kids die, two corpses shtupped, two mustaches as bristly as a push broom, and three adorable kitties!
Now, if this was a musical, it might be the best movie ever!
The first FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S was quite well reviewed but I thought that while it started strong, it got progressively worse as it went, ending up a genuinely terrible film.
The sequel is getting poor reviews so will I think it's the worst thing ever or good actually?
The sequel is getting poor reviews so will I think it's the worst thing ever or good actually?
December 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
The first FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S was quite well reviewed but I thought that while it started strong, it got progressively worse as it went, ending up a genuinely terrible film.
The sequel is getting poor reviews so will I think it's the worst thing ever or good actually?
The sequel is getting poor reviews so will I think it's the worst thing ever or good actually?
Sing 2 - The script is way too fast and loose with the narrative, it's inaccurate in its depiction of how musical theater is staged, and it's a horrible, filthy jukebox musical (ptooey!) but it's visually attractive, most of the characters are cute, and a lot of the humor lands.
December 5, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Sing 2 - The script is way too fast and loose with the narrative, it's inaccurate in its depiction of how musical theater is staged, and it's a horrible, filthy jukebox musical (ptooey!) but it's visually attractive, most of the characters are cute, and a lot of the humor lands.
I had to take my car in to be fixed. That's never fun. But I did get to see this super cool pipe cleaner tarantula so that's not nothing!
December 5, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I had to take my car in to be fixed. That's never fun. But I did get to see this super cool pipe cleaner tarantula so that's not nothing!
Baby Assassins: Nice Days - This is the third film in the series and while I have some critiques, I love these characters, the action is great, and the humor lands so it was worth staying up until 1:30 in the morning to watch even though I have to work in the morning!
December 4, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Baby Assassins: Nice Days - This is the third film in the series and while I have some critiques, I love these characters, the action is great, and the humor lands so it was worth staying up until 1:30 in the morning to watch even though I have to work in the morning!
I have no desire to play the sequel to Horizon: Zero Dawn. I liked the original well enough but when I finished it, I felt I'd had enough of Aloy and friends.
Black Friday: "$30 for the Complete Edition."
...ARGH! Okay, fine. It can sit on the shelf with the rest of my unplayed games!
Black Friday: "$30 for the Complete Edition."
...ARGH! Okay, fine. It can sit on the shelf with the rest of my unplayed games!
November 29, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I have no desire to play the sequel to Horizon: Zero Dawn. I liked the original well enough but when I finished it, I felt I'd had enough of Aloy and friends.
Black Friday: "$30 for the Complete Edition."
...ARGH! Okay, fine. It can sit on the shelf with the rest of my unplayed games!
Black Friday: "$30 for the Complete Edition."
...ARGH! Okay, fine. It can sit on the shelf with the rest of my unplayed games!
I'm playing a point-and-click adventure game and I literally can't get passed the first tutorial puzzle.
WHAT BUTTON IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!!!
Enter?
Space?
Shift?
Ctrl?
Alt?
Bksp?
Ah, it's tab.
Just fucking say "TAB". It's three damn letters! Why would you use an icon no keyboard uses?!!!
WHAT BUTTON IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!!!
Enter?
Space?
Shift?
Ctrl?
Alt?
Bksp?
Ah, it's tab.
Just fucking say "TAB". It's three damn letters! Why would you use an icon no keyboard uses?!!!
November 28, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I'm playing a point-and-click adventure game and I literally can't get passed the first tutorial puzzle.
WHAT BUTTON IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!!!
Enter?
Space?
Shift?
Ctrl?
Alt?
Bksp?
Ah, it's tab.
Just fucking say "TAB". It's three damn letters! Why would you use an icon no keyboard uses?!!!
WHAT BUTTON IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!!!
Enter?
Space?
Shift?
Ctrl?
Alt?
Bksp?
Ah, it's tab.
Just fucking say "TAB". It's three damn letters! Why would you use an icon no keyboard uses?!!!
Red Sonja - Bit off more than its budget and schedule allowed it to chew (weak digital effects, overstuffed plot, poor fight choreo) but brilliantly captures the look/feel of 80s movies with great makeup, sets, costumes, and locations. Needs more gore.
And Sonja is definitely fucking that horse.
And Sonja is definitely fucking that horse.
November 26, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Red Sonja - Bit off more than its budget and schedule allowed it to chew (weak digital effects, overstuffed plot, poor fight choreo) but brilliantly captures the look/feel of 80s movies with great makeup, sets, costumes, and locations. Needs more gore.
And Sonja is definitely fucking that horse.
And Sonja is definitely fucking that horse.
Four?
FOUR?!!!
I don't think I've ever seen a list of production babies for an animate film that isn't at least a few dozen and The Bad Guys 2 only had four?
Short production, older crew, or crunched so hard they were too busy to get busy?
FOUR?!!!
I don't think I've ever seen a list of production babies for an animate film that isn't at least a few dozen and The Bad Guys 2 only had four?
Short production, older crew, or crunched so hard they were too busy to get busy?
November 25, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Four?
FOUR?!!!
I don't think I've ever seen a list of production babies for an animate film that isn't at least a few dozen and The Bad Guys 2 only had four?
Short production, older crew, or crunched so hard they were too busy to get busy?
FOUR?!!!
I don't think I've ever seen a list of production babies for an animate film that isn't at least a few dozen and The Bad Guys 2 only had four?
Short production, older crew, or crunched so hard they were too busy to get busy?
The Bad Guys 2 - The main antagonist is a bit too shallow to give a darn about but her and her crew are bursting with charisma, the original cast is still a ton of fun, the humor lands, and the whole package is creative and attractive.
I liked it and would happily watch another sequel!
I liked it and would happily watch another sequel!
November 25, 2025 at 8:16 AM
The Bad Guys 2 - The main antagonist is a bit too shallow to give a darn about but her and her crew are bursting with charisma, the original cast is still a ton of fun, the humor lands, and the whole package is creative and attractive.
I liked it and would happily watch another sequel!
I liked it and would happily watch another sequel!
Good Boy - Haunted house movie from the POV of the dog that can sense the evil the humans can't.
Dynamite premise! Boring movie.
Also hard to watch because the film quality swings from sharp to muddy to blurry to low res to literally out of focus from shot to shot.
Super disappointing.
Dynamite premise! Boring movie.
Also hard to watch because the film quality swings from sharp to muddy to blurry to low res to literally out of focus from shot to shot.
Super disappointing.
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Good Boy - Haunted house movie from the POV of the dog that can sense the evil the humans can't.
Dynamite premise! Boring movie.
Also hard to watch because the film quality swings from sharp to muddy to blurry to low res to literally out of focus from shot to shot.
Super disappointing.
Dynamite premise! Boring movie.
Also hard to watch because the film quality swings from sharp to muddy to blurry to low res to literally out of focus from shot to shot.
Super disappointing.
Nope, doesn't appear to be a jokey reference to the original game. Looks like just an oversight or a typo they didn't feel was worth correcting.
November 22, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Nope, doesn't appear to be a jokey reference to the original game. Looks like just an oversight or a typo they didn't feel was worth correcting.
Behold! The "Oil Druns" of Zeiss!
What do you do with your oil? Why, you put it in a drun, of course!
A drun set wouldn't fit in my studio apartment so I learned the guitar instead.
'tis preferable to beat a dead horse then the druns of war.
This game marches to the beat of its own drun!
What do you do with your oil? Why, you put it in a drun, of course!
A drun set wouldn't fit in my studio apartment so I learned the guitar instead.
'tis preferable to beat a dead horse then the druns of war.
This game marches to the beat of its own drun!
November 22, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Behold! The "Oil Druns" of Zeiss!
What do you do with your oil? Why, you put it in a drun, of course!
A drun set wouldn't fit in my studio apartment so I learned the guitar instead.
'tis preferable to beat a dead horse then the druns of war.
This game marches to the beat of its own drun!
What do you do with your oil? Why, you put it in a drun, of course!
A drun set wouldn't fit in my studio apartment so I learned the guitar instead.
'tis preferable to beat a dead horse then the druns of war.
This game marches to the beat of its own drun!
The Big Sleep - Decent hardboiled PI story with fun character archetypes, cool dialog, and a twisty case that spirals out from simple blackmail to something much darker and complicated.
Sadly marred by an unconvincing central relationship (and not just because she's more than half his age).
Sadly marred by an unconvincing central relationship (and not just because she's more than half his age).
November 20, 2025 at 8:34 AM
The Big Sleep - Decent hardboiled PI story with fun character archetypes, cool dialog, and a twisty case that spirals out from simple blackmail to something much darker and complicated.
Sadly marred by an unconvincing central relationship (and not just because she's more than half his age).
Sadly marred by an unconvincing central relationship (and not just because she's more than half his age).
Who will you romance?
November 14, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Who will you romance?
"The maps are maze-like and intricately detailed."
Maybe not the best screen to pair with that statement, eh?
Maybe not the best screen to pair with that statement, eh?
November 14, 2025 at 4:57 PM
"The maps are maze-like and intricately detailed."
Maybe not the best screen to pair with that statement, eh?
Maybe not the best screen to pair with that statement, eh?
Frankenstein - Two and a half hours and a few plot elements are still rushed.
Ah well. Gorgeous movie regardless! Just a stunner to look at front to back. Plus, it's delightfully gross and entertaining to boot with a lovely score and some great performances by the main cast.
Ah well. Gorgeous movie regardless! Just a stunner to look at front to back. Plus, it's delightfully gross and entertaining to boot with a lovely score and some great performances by the main cast.
November 14, 2025 at 9:01 AM
Frankenstein - Two and a half hours and a few plot elements are still rushed.
Ah well. Gorgeous movie regardless! Just a stunner to look at front to back. Plus, it's delightfully gross and entertaining to boot with a lovely score and some great performances by the main cast.
Ah well. Gorgeous movie regardless! Just a stunner to look at front to back. Plus, it's delightfully gross and entertaining to boot with a lovely score and some great performances by the main cast.