Angry Breakfast
@angrybreakfast.bsky.social
Lord of shawties, haver of frequent stomach issues
Pinned
I ask every cop who pulls me over a “riddle me this” type question to see if any of them can riddle me this
Corporate jobs suck bro, they got my dawg in prison cuz he didn’t leverage his client contacts to improve synergy and satisfaction at the organizational level 🫣
January 16, 2026 at 4:35 PM
Corporate jobs suck bro, they got my dawg in prison cuz he didn’t leverage his client contacts to improve synergy and satisfaction at the organizational level 🫣
Proclaiming dark designs of a crueler world in line at the CVS
January 2, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Proclaiming dark designs of a crueler world in line at the CVS
When I nut I make the same sound as the intro to Them Bones by Alice In Chains
December 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
When I nut I make the same sound as the intro to Them Bones by Alice In Chains
Yuletide? And it’s gay, you say? Good for it. Good for the Yuletide, whatever that is
December 24, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Yuletide? And it’s gay, you say? Good for it. Good for the Yuletide, whatever that is
The booktok girlies are clobbering my femur with a steel pipe
December 16, 2025 at 8:44 PM
The booktok girlies are clobbering my femur with a steel pipe
Uh oh he’s steely Dan posting again
December 12, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Uh oh he’s steely Dan posting again
Who up Reelin’ in they Years?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
December 12, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Who up Reelin’ in they Years?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Guys who can’t jack off without Steely Dan’s “realin’ in the years” playing in the background
December 6, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Guys who can’t jack off without Steely Dan’s “realin’ in the years” playing in the background
When the Butthole Surfers said “I don’t mind the sand sometimes” they clearly hadn’t met Anakin SkyWalker or Paul Atreides
November 28, 2025 at 2:10 PM
When the Butthole Surfers said “I don’t mind the sand sometimes” they clearly hadn’t met Anakin SkyWalker or Paul Atreides
Big drama going down in the Slimy Idiot community
November 25, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Big drama going down in the Slimy Idiot community
My wife and I saw you from across the sands if Arakis, and we walked over all weird so as not to alert the worms
November 22, 2025 at 6:08 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the sands if Arakis, and we walked over all weird so as not to alert the worms
My wife and I saw you from across the Spencers Gifts and thought you might like to kill yourself and us
November 22, 2025 at 6:07 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the Spencers Gifts and thought you might like to kill yourself and us
My wife and I saw you from across the public pool and wanted to know if you wanna play mermaids
November 22, 2025 at 6:05 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the public pool and wanted to know if you wanna play mermaids
My wife and I saw you from across the Uber Rideshare and thought you might be okay if we added twelve stops
November 22, 2025 at 6:04 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the Uber Rideshare and thought you might be okay if we added twelve stops
Kingdoms will rise and fall before I ever use my parking break
November 18, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Kingdoms will rise and fall before I ever use my parking break
Doc, the problem is Shawty like a melody in my head
November 17, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Doc, the problem is Shawty like a melody in my head
I’ve been letting it linger quite a bit lately. Mostly cuz I have to
November 11, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I’ve been letting it linger quite a bit lately. Mostly cuz I have to
Shout out to guys who are me. shout out to me
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Shout out to guys who are me. shout out to me
I don’t wanna jinx it but I can’t believe NYC is gonna have its first mayor who is also babygirl coded
November 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I don’t wanna jinx it but I can’t believe NYC is gonna have its first mayor who is also babygirl coded
Thank the lord above for the Bing search engine
November 1, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Thank the lord above for the Bing search engine
If you ever see me wrestling to open a jar of mayonnaise, HELP THE MAYONAISE
October 14, 2025 at 6:06 PM
If you ever see me wrestling to open a jar of mayonnaise, HELP THE MAYONAISE
In my dust era. particle pilled. He’s so vapor-coded.
October 5, 2025 at 3:35 PM
In my dust era. particle pilled. He’s so vapor-coded.
Sometimes I vibe so chill that moss grows on me and I am returned to the soil
October 2, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Sometimes I vibe so chill that moss grows on me and I am returned to the soil
Shawties be like “I need a redbull” but that will not heal the wounds of existence. Like a faucet, time will continue to seep out, shawty
October 2, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Shawties be like “I need a redbull” but that will not heal the wounds of existence. Like a faucet, time will continue to seep out, shawty