Dead internet theory is no longer a theory. Every time I post anything it's flooded with bots pretending to be human. It's unnerving.

It's been one long unending nightmare that I can't wake up from. I get the sense from a lot of people in my life that I should be over this already. I have so much rage in me and I don't know what to do with it.

The grief is overwhelming and unbearable. I still reach for him every morning when I wake up, like I did every morning for 20 years. Muscle memory is a real bitch. I've been struggling to keep going and be a normal person, but it's so fucking hard. Therapy is expensive. gofund.me/a29f5ed4

I spent the day reliving the trauma of finding his body. Of the paramedics and police asking me over and over again if he was a drug addict. Of the health authority and BC Coroner's Service jerking me around and treating me like a nuisance. The stark reminder that no one gives a shit about him.

My bnet friend's list looks like a ghost town. It used to be full, I'd have like ~90 people online at peak times playing WoW/Classic WoW/Overwatch/Diablo. Now, like 6, 5 of them are in classic WoW, one is playing hearthstone on the toilet. I really hope MS can bring some of that magic back.

Now I'm on the back half of my 30s, and filling out applications to kill bosses for pixels with a bunch of strangers just feels weird. I don't even want to sell myself that hard for an actual job, why should I expend that effort for something I am paying money to do? It's just weird.

I had carefully curated my group, we had good chemistry, we had fun. We liked each other. We killed hard shit! And then the game became so bad and so boring that they all just quit the game. And now there's this hole in my life that I don't know how to fill.

Like, no one really talks about how much it hurts to lose that group of friends. It's an expected part of MMO gaming, guilds come and go, just go find a new group. But they don't know your in-jokes, there's no history there. And holy shit are there ever a lot of really terrible people.

Oop, I forgot my alt text.

I dunno, everyone I know is still calling them joints. One of those someones is a zoomer, so it can't just be us olds.

Dang. I have an S21 Ultra that.. can't do that. I mean the low light pictures aren't terrible, but they're not that good.

I think about those textbooks often. Also, the carpets in every public space.

We're fairly certain he is, technically, human. Like 87%.

My dentist told me my teeth were in excellent shape, and whatever I was doing to keep doing it. I brush my teeth before I go to bed, that's it. 😂