dazai's entire world shrinks and bleeds obsession. there is only being the star in Swan Lake. there is only Chuuya.

dazai works himself to the bone and trains through repetitive injuries but everything comes naturally to chuuya

chuuya telling him to rest once in a while and take time for himself and dazai's annoyed feeling condescended to instead

so dazai also obsesses over chuuya and constantly wonders why he's not good enough but chuuya is. chuuya has the raw talent that dazai took years to perfect and it's not good enough. nothing will ever be good enough

🫶 glad you enjoyed it!! it was a treat to write (and I'm a sucker for steampunk)

Then he shut it and flipped it over, frowning when he discovered some sort of engraving on the back difficult to make out under the sunlight.

His lips moved, mouthing the words, ‘Love is the compass of life’. (33/33)

“A compass? Did you make this?”

Another nod. “Keep it. Maybe it’ll help you someday as a pilot.”

Confused, Chuuya lifted the compass’s lid. The arrow bounced back and forth, flickering between where Dazai stood in front of him expectantly, and pointing to a cathedral. (32/33)

Chuuya’s attention flickered to it briefly, and Dazai could sense the gears turning in his head, wondering whether to take it, wondering what it was. Even as Chuuya reached for it, he did so hesitantly, shooting Dazai a questioning look. But Dazai smiled with an encouraging nod. (31/33)

Unburdened, with purpose. I feel too weightless. Too empty. In truth—perhaps I'm nothing?”

Turning to look at Chuuya, he reached into his pocket and extended a metallic object out to him. (30/33)

Engineers are hard sought in this city; I’ll never be short of work, and I can make myself too rich for your blood and find some other client.” Chuuya shot him a dirty look and opened his mouth to say something before Dazai continued, “I follow you because I admire how you live. (29/33)