T
@anxiouschronicles.bsky.social
Friendly neighborhood neurodivergent mom with anxiety. Love reading, allergy free baking, movies, self confessed nerd. Believe BLM, trans rights are human rights, abortion is healthcare.
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T
@anxiouschronicles.bsky.social
· Apr 17
I think I’m going to use this account as a way to help me process my feelings or like a digital journal. I’m sure no one will want to read that but it isn’t for you it’s for me.
The grief has been so thick this past weekend and I feel like all the days leading up to his death anniversary are going to be hard.
August 18, 2025 at 3:04 PM
The grief has been so thick this past weekend and I feel like all the days leading up to his death anniversary are going to be hard.
It’s been a year now since dad went into the hospital with a broke hip and spent 6.5 weeks in the hospital and then died. Not from the fall cause he did amazing with that and was recovering but I believe from poor care by the doctors there leading to his death because they didn’t listen to us.
August 14, 2025 at 7:08 PM
It’s been a year now since dad went into the hospital with a broke hip and spent 6.5 weeks in the hospital and then died. Not from the fall cause he did amazing with that and was recovering but I believe from poor care by the doctors there leading to his death because they didn’t listen to us.
My kids going back to school is really going to fuck with me after the chill summer have have had. As much as they may drive me crazy being home all the time the crazy of the school year and lack of sleep on my part is worse.
July 25, 2025 at 7:45 AM
My kids going back to school is really going to fuck with me after the chill summer have have had. As much as they may drive me crazy being home all the time the crazy of the school year and lack of sleep on my part is worse.
Today I was driving to my in law house which I have done dozens or more time since dad past. It is the same route I took to get to the hospital Dad was at before he died.
But today I was suddenly reminded of the frantic middle of the night drive trying to get to my dads side the night he died. 🧵
But today I was suddenly reminded of the frantic middle of the night drive trying to get to my dads side the night he died. 🧵
July 11, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Today I was driving to my in law house which I have done dozens or more time since dad past. It is the same route I took to get to the hospital Dad was at before he died.
But today I was suddenly reminded of the frantic middle of the night drive trying to get to my dads side the night he died. 🧵
But today I was suddenly reminded of the frantic middle of the night drive trying to get to my dads side the night he died. 🧵
Hey dad,
You’ll be proud and happy to know that Mom got a new car, one she can get in and out of better. B came down to help with that. Not seeing you car in the garage anymore is going to be really hard. You aren’t your car but not having that thing of yours feels hard. I wish you were here.
You’ll be proud and happy to know that Mom got a new car, one she can get in and out of better. B came down to help with that. Not seeing you car in the garage anymore is going to be really hard. You aren’t your car but not having that thing of yours feels hard. I wish you were here.
July 4, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Hey dad,
You’ll be proud and happy to know that Mom got a new car, one she can get in and out of better. B came down to help with that. Not seeing you car in the garage anymore is going to be really hard. You aren’t your car but not having that thing of yours feels hard. I wish you were here.
You’ll be proud and happy to know that Mom got a new car, one she can get in and out of better. B came down to help with that. Not seeing you car in the garage anymore is going to be really hard. You aren’t your car but not having that thing of yours feels hard. I wish you were here.
My mom sold my dads car and I’m surprisingly emotional about it.
July 3, 2025 at 9:48 PM
My mom sold my dads car and I’m surprisingly emotional about it.
I need to eat, my stomach is growling, but my neurodivergent brain will not let me make any food like the demand is too great and the steps too many. I have no food right not that is throw together or ready to eat.
July 1, 2025 at 4:54 PM
I need to eat, my stomach is growling, but my neurodivergent brain will not let me make any food like the demand is too great and the steps too many. I have no food right not that is throw together or ready to eat.
In other news I started playing DnD in a new campaign with strangers not people I know. I hope it works out so we will see. I feel very out of my element but either way I joined a few of online communities on discord to try and maybe make some new friends online.
June 21, 2025 at 1:48 AM
In other news I started playing DnD in a new campaign with strangers not people I know. I hope it works out so we will see. I feel very out of my element but either way I joined a few of online communities on discord to try and maybe make some new friends online.
F grief damn it really can hit your full force for no reason with no warning.
June 21, 2025 at 1:45 AM
F grief damn it really can hit your full force for no reason with no warning.
I really dislike people, or people who take my direct literal brain and take it as some kind of aggression. Like no I’m just very literal and am learning to unmask more so that makes me more direct in interaction. People don’t like that, and I don’t like hiding who I am. #autistic
May 31, 2025 at 1:17 AM
I really dislike people, or people who take my direct literal brain and take it as some kind of aggression. Like no I’m just very literal and am learning to unmask more so that makes me more direct in interaction. People don’t like that, and I don’t like hiding who I am. #autistic
I have been without a washing machine for a week. If they can’t fix it today I’m going to lose my mind. I just want to do laundry in my own home again and not hauling it all over creation to get it washed.
May 30, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I have been without a washing machine for a week. If they can’t fix it today I’m going to lose my mind. I just want to do laundry in my own home again and not hauling it all over creation to get it washed.
I watched The Wild Robot with my kids, so good! But damn the emotional gut punch it gave me cause it hit a lot of my feelings as a parent and my grief of losing my dad.
May 26, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I watched The Wild Robot with my kids, so good! But damn the emotional gut punch it gave me cause it hit a lot of my feelings as a parent and my grief of losing my dad.
You know what “fun” about trauma, no matter how much therapy you have, none of it goes away. All the triggers and pain are still there, and can hit you in a second bowling you over. Your never truly “healed” you just know you don’t have to drown in it and learning the coping skills to deal with it.
May 22, 2025 at 2:12 AM
You know what “fun” about trauma, no matter how much therapy you have, none of it goes away. All the triggers and pain are still there, and can hit you in a second bowling you over. Your never truly “healed” you just know you don’t have to drown in it and learning the coping skills to deal with it.
I got the COOLEST Mother’s Day gift from spouse and kids. I do not feel cool enough to have a loungefly backpack this cool, it even lights up! It’s Truly Outrageous!
May 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I got the COOLEST Mother’s Day gift from spouse and kids. I do not feel cool enough to have a loungefly backpack this cool, it even lights up! It’s Truly Outrageous!
I got curious and like 2 minutes after I started watching the live feed there was black smoke. For once I have good timing lol
May 7, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I got curious and like 2 minutes after I started watching the live feed there was black smoke. For once I have good timing lol
I was watching dungeons and drag queens till I realized it was raining. I paused and now I’m just listening to it rain. Nothing is more calming than a good rain.
May 7, 2025 at 2:16 AM
I was watching dungeons and drag queens till I realized it was raining. I paused and now I’m just listening to it rain. Nothing is more calming than a good rain.
Some people say they get signs from their loved ones who passed something they see that is somehow associated with that loved one. I wish I had that for sure a sign I know is from dad.
May 1, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Some people say they get signs from their loved ones who passed something they see that is somehow associated with that loved one. I wish I had that for sure a sign I know is from dad.
Grief can present itself so different in kids. My youngest was having a bad day a lot of big feelings. When I asked what would be comforting for her she got upset cause all she really wanted was to watch a dvd that she would watch with my dad or in his car on trips, she missed him.
April 30, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Grief can present itself so different in kids. My youngest was having a bad day a lot of big feelings. When I asked what would be comforting for her she got upset cause all she really wanted was to watch a dvd that she would watch with my dad or in his car on trips, she missed him.
My oldest child got just got a intermediate clarinet today. I’m just so proud of how well they have done, my dad would be too.
He loved music, was even in a band while stationed in Japan with the army. He was so cool.
He loved music, was even in a band while stationed in Japan with the army. He was so cool.
April 30, 2025 at 12:19 AM
My oldest child got just got a intermediate clarinet today. I’m just so proud of how well they have done, my dad would be too.
He loved music, was even in a band while stationed in Japan with the army. He was so cool.
He loved music, was even in a band while stationed in Japan with the army. He was so cool.
I wish I could talk to dad today. I wish I had more videos of him. Take video take all the video and pictures even if you don’t want to cause one day that’s all you have left.
April 29, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I wish I could talk to dad today. I wish I had more videos of him. Take video take all the video and pictures even if you don’t want to cause one day that’s all you have left.
I really need a hug today, I love my kids but I mean like a full body deep pressure long bear hug. My OCD is bad today and I just can’t get past it and Im lonely (yes I have kids but they are kids not burdening them)
April 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I really need a hug today, I love my kids but I mean like a full body deep pressure long bear hug. My OCD is bad today and I just can’t get past it and Im lonely (yes I have kids but they are kids not burdening them)
The day when grief hit me like a tsunami. I went to a window with tears running down my face to look for birds. I saw one,as I watched it I asked dad to send me another and for a second I saw one walking on the ground around our raised beds, then the shadow of another fly over, I hope it was dad.
April 22, 2025 at 3:13 PM
The day when grief hit me like a tsunami. I went to a window with tears running down my face to look for birds. I saw one,as I watched it I asked dad to send me another and for a second I saw one walking on the ground around our raised beds, then the shadow of another fly over, I hope it was dad.
I remember the moment I talked to dad, telling me he fell & didn’t immediately go to the ER. I knew it was bad I had a sick feeling in my bones,I begged him to go right then. I was worried he had a hairline fracture but he refused. I wish I had forced him to go right then. I feel like I failed him.
April 17, 2025 at 11:44 PM
I remember the moment I talked to dad, telling me he fell & didn’t immediately go to the ER. I knew it was bad I had a sick feeling in my bones,I begged him to go right then. I was worried he had a hairline fracture but he refused. I wish I had forced him to go right then. I feel like I failed him.
I think I’m going to use this account as a way to help me process my feelings or like a digital journal. I’m sure no one will want to read that but it isn’t for you it’s for me.
April 17, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I think I’m going to use this account as a way to help me process my feelings or like a digital journal. I’m sure no one will want to read that but it isn’t for you it’s for me.
Today grief hit me like a sudden tsunami. I sobbed and cried like I did the night dad died. I kept having flashbacks and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I had to get myself up to pick up kids from school, breathe again, all while feeling like I was being swallowed up by grief
April 17, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Today grief hit me like a sudden tsunami. I sobbed and cried like I did the night dad died. I kept having flashbacks and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I had to get myself up to pick up kids from school, breathe again, all while feeling like I was being swallowed up by grief