Ara Hollyday
@arahollyday.bsky.social
Former Theatre Kid // Current Silly Goose
Here’s a joke I think Norm Macdonald would have told if he was with us today:
The U.S. Defense Secretary said that returning to Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders would be unrealistic.
You know what everyone else calls Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders?
Ukraine.
The U.S. Defense Secretary said that returning to Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders would be unrealistic.
You know what everyone else calls Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders?
Ukraine.
February 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Here’s a joke I think Norm Macdonald would have told if he was with us today:
The U.S. Defense Secretary said that returning to Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders would be unrealistic.
You know what everyone else calls Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders?
Ukraine.
The U.S. Defense Secretary said that returning to Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders would be unrealistic.
You know what everyone else calls Ukraine’s pre-2014 borders?
Ukraine.
Real change in America is rarely achieved through noble, dignified means.
Real change requires bucking the status quo and those who enforce it.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
-Winston Churchill
Real change requires bucking the status quo and those who enforce it.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
-Winston Churchill
December 20, 2024 at 12:49 AM
Real change in America is rarely achieved through noble, dignified means.
Real change requires bucking the status quo and those who enforce it.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
-Winston Churchill
Real change requires bucking the status quo and those who enforce it.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
-Winston Churchill
Cindy-Lou Who seeing the mean furry creature that lives at the top of the mountain, pantsless, standing in the middle of her ransacked house at 3am, desperately trying to stuff a Christmas tree up the chimney, and her first thought was “Santa Claus”, is why I don’t want kids.
December 19, 2024 at 12:36 AM
Cindy-Lou Who seeing the mean furry creature that lives at the top of the mountain, pantsless, standing in the middle of her ransacked house at 3am, desperately trying to stuff a Christmas tree up the chimney, and her first thought was “Santa Claus”, is why I don’t want kids.
Ghost stories in 200 years:
“And he died before he could enjoy his oat milk latte, so now Aiden wanders the Starbucks inside Target, forever longing to quench his thirst.”
“And he died before he could enjoy his oat milk latte, so now Aiden wanders the Starbucks inside Target, forever longing to quench his thirst.”
December 11, 2024 at 10:13 PM
Ghost stories in 200 years:
“And he died before he could enjoy his oat milk latte, so now Aiden wanders the Starbucks inside Target, forever longing to quench his thirst.”
“And he died before he could enjoy his oat milk latte, so now Aiden wanders the Starbucks inside Target, forever longing to quench his thirst.”
Saying that Bashar al-Assad “resigned” as President of Syria is like saying Louis XVI got a free haircut.
December 10, 2024 at 1:32 AM
Saying that Bashar al-Assad “resigned” as President of Syria is like saying Louis XVI got a free haircut.
BREAKING: Turkey pardoned by Biden allegedly attended Diddy Party (photo included)
November 27, 2024 at 12:58 AM
BREAKING: Turkey pardoned by Biden allegedly attended Diddy Party (photo included)
Trump’s Treasury Secretary pick Scott Bessent, seen here just after cancelling a young single mother’s healthcare benefits to pay for more books behind him.
November 23, 2024 at 1:05 AM
Trump’s Treasury Secretary pick Scott Bessent, seen here just after cancelling a young single mother’s healthcare benefits to pay for more books behind him.
I guess now that Wicked is out, I can finally say that I’m still pissed that Ariana Grande beat me out for Glinda.
November 22, 2024 at 3:41 PM
I guess now that Wicked is out, I can finally say that I’m still pissed that Ariana Grande beat me out for Glinda.
Today, may you have the confidence of a grackle standing in the middle of a major roadway.
November 21, 2024 at 6:49 PM
Today, may you have the confidence of a grackle standing in the middle of a major roadway.
I’ve always just identified as a guy, but according to the box of mac and cheese, I’m actually a family of 8…
November 15, 2024 at 1:21 PM
I’ve always just identified as a guy, but according to the box of mac and cheese, I’m actually a family of 8…
Trump nominating known anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theorist RFK Jr to head HHS is so crazy. That would be like if Trump nominated a congressman suspected of multiple felonies to be Attorney General…
November 15, 2024 at 12:34 AM
Trump nominating known anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theorist RFK Jr to head HHS is so crazy. That would be like if Trump nominated a congressman suspected of multiple felonies to be Attorney General…
BREAKING: Trump has chosen the McDonalds’ Big Mac to be his Secretary of Energy.
November 14, 2024 at 1:32 PM
BREAKING: Trump has chosen the McDonalds’ Big Mac to be his Secretary of Energy.
One of my friends wrote a wonderful and thought provoking analysis of the election, detailing the strategies that paid off, and what must be done to bridge the widening divisions in our country.
But the whole thing was in Comic Sans, so I don’t know if I can take him seriously.
But the whole thing was in Comic Sans, so I don’t know if I can take him seriously.
November 9, 2024 at 2:09 PM
One of my friends wrote a wonderful and thought provoking analysis of the election, detailing the strategies that paid off, and what must be done to bridge the widening divisions in our country.
But the whole thing was in Comic Sans, so I don’t know if I can take him seriously.
But the whole thing was in Comic Sans, so I don’t know if I can take him seriously.
They say you’re the hero of your own story.
If that’s true, my arch-nemesis is Saran Wrap*
*Based on my own experiences from 5 minutes ago. Still recovering. Not ready to talk about it.
If that’s true, my arch-nemesis is Saran Wrap*
*Based on my own experiences from 5 minutes ago. Still recovering. Not ready to talk about it.
November 8, 2024 at 7:04 PM
They say you’re the hero of your own story.
If that’s true, my arch-nemesis is Saran Wrap*
*Based on my own experiences from 5 minutes ago. Still recovering. Not ready to talk about it.
If that’s true, my arch-nemesis is Saran Wrap*
*Based on my own experiences from 5 minutes ago. Still recovering. Not ready to talk about it.