Aww thank you!
It was a much needed night for me. I’ve been super in my head about my own art recently.

I just find it so painfully indicative of... well...
*gestures broadly*

Thanks. It’s just hard for me to see the good ways I’ve grown, and not feel bad about the things I haven’t had the space to improve yet.

Thank you!
It’s a tough spot, because again I’m happy with the ways I have grown and pushed myself. And I want more of that, more broadly!
Unfortunately my social media presence/ability has been something that ended up suffering.
But progress is progress, and I’ll take it.

Thanks 💕
It’s mostly just been exhausting.

…so uh, yeah. That’s what life’s been feeling like lately.
I have made some strides. The things getting fuller focus feel like good progress. A break is on the horizon.
The rest is… harder.
But I’m trying to reframe my brain to remember to ask for things.
To tune out the gremlins.
And to be happier.

And I tell myself “Next year, fewer things done well.”
And I want that to be true.
The gnawing feeling in my gut knows it’s a lie. That this is who I am. I spread myself thin with good intentions, expectation, and the crushing desire to feel validated by everyone around me that doesn’t truly see.

The rest of my family will eat and bicker and not think twice that I’ve done the work of 3 cooks alone, because at this point I’ve done it so often that it’s now the expectation and anything less is also failure, embarrassing.
They all leave, and I have mountains of dirty dishes and leftovers.

And later my sister will go “Wait, you should have said something, I could have helped, picked something up on the way!”
But that would require remembering asking for help is okay and not a failure too. Also *actually* remembering I can at all, because my head has only been in problem solver mode.

And somehow grandma is in the corner watching all this, and just criticizing my recipes and decisions the whole time. And even though I know my food is good and I manage it all enough, it stings and I feel like a complete failure. Even though 85% of everything is done and fine and good.

But then I’m running out of counter and fridge and oven space, realize I did forget to buy celery, and have just run out of butter. And then last minute, my uncle decides he is coming after all with his new vegan partner. So I give up on a dish or two, and quickly pivot to some attempt at salad.

I’ve noticed that happens occasionally. Could be technical issues. Could be blocking related? I’m not really sure.

Thank you!
I was aiming for something fairly androgynous, and I think I’m pleased with the balance for a messy sketch.