Ardail Smith
@ardail-smith.bsky.social
I ordered a Tacila with a Coke chaser. They gave me a warm Coke. When I pointed out that the Coke was warm. The bartender said we don't serve Tacila with ice chasers.
December 25, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I ordered a Tacila with a Coke chaser. They gave me a warm Coke. When I pointed out that the Coke was warm. The bartender said we don't serve Tacila with ice chasers.
I was trying to buy a Christmas card featuring a nativity scene, but apparently ICE has picked them all up.
December 25, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I was trying to buy a Christmas card featuring a nativity scene, but apparently ICE has picked them all up.
When the rankings come out, listing the presidents from best to worst, Trump will be the second-from-the-bottom, just above his own name.
December 25, 2025 at 5:09 PM
When the rankings come out, listing the presidents from best to worst, Trump will be the second-from-the-bottom, just above his own name.
You know that scene in "Planet of the Apes" where Charlton Heston sees the statue of liberty? That's how I feel when I look at the Kennedy Center.
December 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM
You know that scene in "Planet of the Apes" where Charlton Heston sees the statue of liberty? That's how I feel when I look at the Kennedy Center.
Jake Paul and Andrew Tate got KOed. You don't always get the gift you want for Christmas, but they got the gift they deserved.
December 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Jake Paul and Andrew Tate got KOed. You don't always get the gift you want for Christmas, but they got the gift they deserved.
I was watching the fight when POW, it turned in to prisons porn.
December 21, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I was watching the fight when POW, it turned in to prisons porn.
If you're a fan of Star Trek, you're a Trekkie; Doctor Who, a Whovian; Hulk Hogan, a Klansman.
December 21, 2025 at 9:36 PM
If you're a fan of Star Trek, you're a Trekkie; Doctor Who, a Whovian; Hulk Hogan, a Klansman.
The holidays are upon us. Time to sit by the fire, have some Nog, and read "The Mistletoe Murders." Before the guests arrive.
December 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
The holidays are upon us. Time to sit by the fire, have some Nog, and read "The Mistletoe Murders." Before the guests arrive.
Who needs a time machine to visit the past when 1930s Germany will just come to you?
December 21, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Who needs a time machine to visit the past when 1930s Germany will just come to you?
Trump has had so much of the Epstein file redacted that ICE will try to deport it for being too black.
December 20, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Trump has had so much of the Epstein file redacted that ICE will try to deport it for being too black.
Unless they are zombies, a double-tap is never warranted.
December 18, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Unless they are zombies, a double-tap is never warranted.
With these upcoming cuts to healthcare, some retirement centers will likely close. Causing elderly parents to move in with their kids. That means our dystopian future is "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
December 17, 2025 at 12:03 AM
With these upcoming cuts to healthcare, some retirement centers will likely close. Causing elderly parents to move in with their kids. That means our dystopian future is "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
My ex-wife used to refer to me as a panty dropper; it turned out she was talking about the time I dropped the laundry basket.
December 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
My ex-wife used to refer to me as a panty dropper; it turned out she was talking about the time I dropped the laundry basket.
Word on the street is that Trump is suffering from Alzheimer's. I guess TDS does exist.
December 9, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Word on the street is that Trump is suffering from Alzheimer's. I guess TDS does exist.
Bob: These Trump budget cuts closed my son's school.
Me: I thought your kid was home schooled?
Bob: Exactly.
Me: I thought your kid was home schooled?
Bob: Exactly.
December 8, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Bob: These Trump budget cuts closed my son's school.
Me: I thought your kid was home schooled?
Bob: Exactly.
Me: I thought your kid was home schooled?
Bob: Exactly.
Trump's new National Security Strategy is so aligned with the Kremlin that Google Maps is changing America's name to Russia West
December 8, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Trump's new National Security Strategy is so aligned with the Kremlin that Google Maps is changing America's name to Russia West
Oh my God, what is it about comics that keep saying I will walk half my audience by telling MAGA jokes? There is no way they're going to pay to see me. Everyone knows they will just wait in the parking lot for free with the rope.
December 5, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Oh my God, what is it about comics that keep saying I will walk half my audience by telling MAGA jokes? There is no way they're going to pay to see me. Everyone knows they will just wait in the parking lot for free with the rope.
If your post offends a MAGA supporter, and they give you a piece of their mind. Is it disrespectful to make the o-face 😜😲😊
December 5, 2025 at 7:40 PM
If your post offends a MAGA supporter, and they give you a piece of their mind. Is it disrespectful to make the o-face 😜😲😊
To those with empathy, I wish you a Merry Christmas. As for MAGA supporters, may the ghost of Jacob Marley visit you.
December 5, 2025 at 5:27 PM
To those with empathy, I wish you a Merry Christmas. As for MAGA supporters, may the ghost of Jacob Marley visit you.
I have started wearing only black clothing, because once you hit 65, you never know when a flash mob funeral will break out.
December 2, 2025 at 11:42 AM
I have started wearing only black clothing, because once you hit 65, you never know when a flash mob funeral will break out.
A wise woman said, "Not everything is a microaggression. Sometimes they are micropenises. But either way, you won't know it until it's in your face".
November 30, 2025 at 3:59 AM
A wise woman said, "Not everything is a microaggression. Sometimes they are micropenises. But either way, you won't know it until it's in your face".
Do you remember when Pete Hegseth promised to stop drinking if confirmed? That must have been the alcohol talking.
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Do you remember when Pete Hegseth promised to stop drinking if confirmed? That must have been the alcohol talking.
MAGA supporters ask how I can support the Democratic Party, which is where the KKK was born. I ask them how they can support the Republican Party, that's where the KKK lives, with their Yatze, and PDF roommates, like a creepy version of Full House.
November 17, 2025 at 7:52 PM
MAGA supporters ask how I can support the Democratic Party, which is where the KKK was born. I ask them how they can support the Republican Party, that's where the KKK lives, with their Yatze, and PDF roommates, like a creepy version of Full House.
How to shut up any MAGA Supporter. Say the following: "But Epstein's emails".
November 14, 2025 at 3:18 PM
How to shut up any MAGA Supporter. Say the following: "But Epstein's emails".
The only good thing about having RFK in charge of HHS is that you can curse pox upon someone's home, and it might work.
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
The only good thing about having RFK in charge of HHS is that you can curse pox upon someone's home, and it might work.