A moment for Tesco's anguish as its algorithm scans my order of orange jelly, clear cordials, plain biscuits, white rice and potatoes, and extra-soft toilet roll--realises I'm planning a colonoscopy--and tries to work out how to leverage this for capitalistic gain.

Android, you and I have been through a lot together now.

Do you really fucking think I am trying to type 'bagasse'

RFK wants us to focus on the root causes of disease. We used to do that, we called it the social determinants of health. That was banned as DEI.

I feel--strongly-- that I should not be able to live-track my delivery drivers.

I could happily live out my days without ever hearing another woman apologise to me for having hair on her body.

I say I'm fine, but on the inside I'm actually furious to exist in a society that has been utterly wrung dry of any function except to funnel money to an insatiably greedy class of billionaire-parasites.

Laughing at the media trying to turn millennials against gen Z now. Do you think we've forgotten so quickly?

I'm not scared that younger people will inherit the earth, and I haven't forgotten that my job is to hand it over in a fit state. I survived Y2K, I don't scare that easily.

I'd love to share some incisive commentary about working for the NHS right now, but I'm too tired. If you just pop the Wilhelm scream on a loop it'll come to about the same thing.

The differential diagnosis for fatigue in a clinician is a real minefield

Like maybe it's burnout, or maybe it's b12 below the lab's assay level

Anyway, I'm super excited to spend the next two weeks self-administering loading doses of b12 because I can't leave work to see a nurse.

"for security reasons, we require additional information"

for security reasons, I require you to fuck off

I have an (urgent) clinical question for my US- based counterparts. I don't want you to lie to try to spare me because I'm strong enough to take the truth, I think.

Do you actually pronounce MRSA 'mersa'

Facebook algorithm decided I would enjoy a little cadaver dissection video on my feed (correct), and omg a spleen is so much bigger than I imagined.

Trying to locate more of the medtwitter refugees by searching the phrase 'clinical marshmallows'

Life in the 21st century: Put my phone away so it doesn't distract me from working on my uni assignment.

Can't access uni materials without using my phone for two-factor authentication.

I don't want to create any hysteria around this storm, but my postman is wearing long trousers.

Just came over all light-headed in Tesco because they announced over the tannoy that if you are concerned you have symptoms of cancer, you should speak to a pharmacist

?? MAYBE CANCER SYMPTOMS ARE ACTUALLY A JOB FOR YOUR GP ??

It's 6am, Facebook just showed me a reel of someone stuffing a turkey with an intact block of cheese, and now I'm going to have to close up the internet for the rest of the day.