The Artful Todger
@artfulltodger.bsky.social
Nekkid people doing nekkid people stuff, the way the gods intended
🔞 ya dink
🔞 ya dink
A deal was a deal. The plumber fixed her shower, so she let him clean her pipes.
December 2, 2025 at 5:43 AM
A deal was a deal. The plumber fixed her shower, so she let him clean her pipes.
When she agreed to model for him she expected she would be in a traditional pose, but hey, who was she to challenge his creative vision?
December 2, 2025 at 5:41 AM
When she agreed to model for him she expected she would be in a traditional pose, but hey, who was she to challenge his creative vision?
It wasn’t the music that brought her to the festival, it was the unlimited sweaty tent sex with endless willing partners
December 2, 2025 at 5:39 AM
It wasn’t the music that brought her to the festival, it was the unlimited sweaty tent sex with endless willing partners
This was the third bodyguard she had to satisfy but she didn’t care, she was going to get with the band whatever it took
December 2, 2025 at 5:35 AM
This was the third bodyguard she had to satisfy but she didn’t care, she was going to get with the band whatever it took
He liked doing work for sororities when they didn’t have the budget for it
December 2, 2025 at 5:34 AM
He liked doing work for sororities when they didn’t have the budget for it
When she said she was going to the costume party as “Slutty Daphne” he didn’t realize she was going to fully commit to the part
December 2, 2025 at 5:33 AM
When she said she was going to the costume party as “Slutty Daphne” he didn’t realize she was going to fully commit to the part
You should probably stop fucking the boss’s wife at some point but that pussy is too damn good.
December 2, 2025 at 5:31 AM
You should probably stop fucking the boss’s wife at some point but that pussy is too damn good.
Yes, she’s an Eldritch horror from dimensions unknown bent on destroying our universe but those tits, man
December 2, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Yes, she’s an Eldritch horror from dimensions unknown bent on destroying our universe but those tits, man
This time she would get her driver’s license no matter what
December 2, 2025 at 5:25 AM
This time she would get her driver’s license no matter what
You ever get that feeling that you might not survive the sex but you’re determined to hit it anyway?
December 2, 2025 at 5:25 AM
You ever get that feeling that you might not survive the sex but you’re determined to hit it anyway?
He never knew which hole she was going to leave unplugged for him to use and he didn’t care. Half the fun was watching her choose.
December 1, 2025 at 1:49 PM
He never knew which hole she was going to leave unplugged for him to use and he didn’t care. Half the fun was watching her choose.
The thing she liked most about him was how enthusiastically he said good morning
December 1, 2025 at 1:47 PM
The thing she liked most about him was how enthusiastically he said good morning
She never learned not to play with her food
December 1, 2025 at 1:46 PM
She never learned not to play with her food
If you say Beetlejuice while you’re fucking her she’ll come three times
December 1, 2025 at 1:40 PM
If you say Beetlejuice while you’re fucking her she’ll come three times
Suddenly he understood why she kept insisting surfing was the most fun you could have at the beach
December 1, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Suddenly he understood why she kept insisting surfing was the most fun you could have at the beach
She decided to make it a truly romantic evening by giving up her ass
December 1, 2025 at 6:03 AM
She decided to make it a truly romantic evening by giving up her ass
“Don’t you dare be gentle”
December 1, 2025 at 6:02 AM
“Don’t you dare be gentle”
Ever since you told her you sometimes sleepwalk and sometimes you sleepfuck she has made a habit out of watching you sleep.
December 1, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Ever since you told her you sometimes sleepwalk and sometimes you sleepfuck she has made a habit out of watching you sleep.
“Make a wish,” she said. He blew out the candles. When he looked up, he saw that his wish was about to come true
December 1, 2025 at 5:59 AM
“Make a wish,” she said. He blew out the candles. When he looked up, he saw that his wish was about to come true
She kept insisting she was limber, so I told her to prove it
November 30, 2025 at 8:48 PM
She kept insisting she was limber, so I told her to prove it
They were the best of friends and shared everything. They didn’t realize that meant the same boy, though.
November 30, 2025 at 8:47 PM
They were the best of friends and shared everything. They didn’t realize that meant the same boy, though.
“You can put it in me if you want. It looks like it might fit.”
November 30, 2025 at 8:46 PM
“You can put it in me if you want. It looks like it might fit.”
She listened to her roommate fuck another new guy and played along from the next room. If she couldn’t get the guy, at least she would be a part of it
November 30, 2025 at 8:45 PM
She listened to her roommate fuck another new guy and played along from the next room. If she couldn’t get the guy, at least she would be a part of it
He had never eaten a girl’s ass before and was nervous, but then she pulled her cheeks apart and he knew exactly what to do
November 30, 2025 at 8:43 PM
He had never eaten a girl’s ass before and was nervous, but then she pulled her cheeks apart and he knew exactly what to do
“Let’s pretend I’m a mermaid you caught in your net. First get this hook out of my mouth and replace it with something bigger.”
November 30, 2025 at 8:41 PM
“Let’s pretend I’m a mermaid you caught in your net. First get this hook out of my mouth and replace it with something bigger.”