Spoopy season is over, but Christmas decorations shouldn't go up yet. Wait til after thanksgiving like a normal human!

Charlie Kirk's death is eclipsing the high school shooting in Denver. Shit is wild today

Charlie Kirk being shot ain't it. If anything it will give his fans a bigger platform. Gun violence is straight up out of control when even the left is going around shooting people. What a time to be alive...

just had two teeth pulled ask me anything

I was doing fine until I went to the dentist. Now I have all these problems. Oh well. Another day, another root canal...

Iran was not on my bingo card.

Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling...

TFW she posts "When he asks you to pick his new tattoo 🫠" but HE isn't ME. About an hour later she blocks me so I don't see that post but oops, too late. Then she says "I really need to work on myself. It's not you it's me." Fuckin a right you need to work on you. Get your shit together, dummy...

That weird feeling in your gut when you're waiting for your first dentist appointment in like 21 years is EXHAUSTING

Y'ever sit on the toilet and ponder what life would be like if your net worth was liquid?

President Elissa Slotkin has a nice ring to it

I've never been so embarrassed to be an American. The last time I felt even close to this was (checks notes) ah, it was the first time this shit stain was president...

@hellodatto.bsky.social if gifting subs during your stream is wrong, I don't wanna be right 💸

Days like today make me physically ill

Tweeting my last tweet in a sec. It's bittersweet, which is weird considering it's just a social media platform. Oh well, I'm here now.

Oh God help me...