Ash Dylan
@ashdylan.bsky.social
writer, reader of romance | he/him
Lizzy,
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
November 10, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Lizzy,
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
November 5, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
November 4, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Dear CBS,
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
November 3, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Dear CBS,
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
November 3, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Elizabeth,
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
October 31, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Elizabeth,
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
October 27, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Elizabeth,
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
October 24, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Elizabeth,
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
October 23, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Elizabeth,
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
October 20, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Elizabeth,
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
October 19, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Elizabeth,
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
October 16, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Are you a No Kings protest? Because I’ll do you this weekend.
Darcy
Are you a No Kings protest? Because I’ll do you this weekend.
Darcy
October 16, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Elizabeth,
Are you a No Kings protest? Because I’ll do you this weekend.
Darcy
Are you a No Kings protest? Because I’ll do you this weekend.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I have started a GoFuckMe. Want to donate?
Darcy
I have started a GoFuckMe. Want to donate?
Darcy
October 15, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Elizabeth,
I have started a GoFuckMe. Want to donate?
Darcy
I have started a GoFuckMe. Want to donate?
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Are you a Young Republicans group chat?
Because I’ll have you leaking.
Darcy
Are you a Young Republicans group chat?
Because I’ll have you leaking.
Darcy
October 15, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Elizabeth,
Are you a Young Republicans group chat?
Because I’ll have you leaking.
Darcy
Are you a Young Republicans group chat?
Because I’ll have you leaking.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I have the heart of a younger man, and Mr Collins will not bother your family again.
Darcy
I have the heart of a younger man, and Mr Collins will not bother your family again.
Darcy
October 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Elizabeth,
I have the heart of a younger man, and Mr Collins will not bother your family again.
Darcy
I have the heart of a younger man, and Mr Collins will not bother your family again.
Darcy
Lizzy,
Roses are red
The shutdown will pass
In the meantime
Let me tap that ass
Darcy
Roses are red
The shutdown will pass
In the meantime
Let me tap that ass
Darcy
October 1, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Lizzy,
Roses are red
The shutdown will pass
In the meantime
Let me tap that ass
Darcy
Roses are red
The shutdown will pass
In the meantime
Let me tap that ass
Darcy
not to kinkshame but incompetence porn sucks
September 30, 2025 at 4:06 PM
not to kinkshame but incompetence porn sucks
Elizabeth,
I want to send my troops into one place that starts with P, and it ain’t Portland.
Darcy
I want to send my troops into one place that starts with P, and it ain’t Portland.
Darcy
September 28, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Elizabeth,
I want to send my troops into one place that starts with P, and it ain’t Portland.
Darcy
I want to send my troops into one place that starts with P, and it ain’t Portland.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Not only can I say acetaminophen, but I can spell it with my tongue between your legs.
Call me,
Darcy
Not only can I say acetaminophen, but I can spell it with my tongue between your legs.
Call me,
Darcy
September 22, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Elizabeth,
Not only can I say acetaminophen, but I can spell it with my tongue between your legs.
Call me,
Darcy
Not only can I say acetaminophen, but I can spell it with my tongue between your legs.
Call me,
Darcy
Tylenol and me: a love story
September 22, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Tylenol and me: a love story
Elizabeth,
Are you the rapture? Because I’ll make you feel like you’re floating to heaven when you come.
Darcy
Are you the rapture? Because I’ll make you feel like you’re floating to heaven when you come.
Darcy
September 21, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Elizabeth,
Are you the rapture? Because I’ll make you feel like you’re floating to heaven when you come.
Darcy
Are you the rapture? Because I’ll make you feel like you’re floating to heaven when you come.
Darcy
You are cordially invited to the Antifa meeting at my Pemberley estate.
Unless you’re the feds. Then it’s an orgy and you’re not invited.
Darcy
Unless you’re the feds. Then it’s an orgy and you’re not invited.
Darcy
September 20, 2025 at 11:08 PM
You are cordially invited to the Antifa meeting at my Pemberley estate.
Unless you’re the feds. Then it’s an orgy and you’re not invited.
Darcy
Unless you’re the feds. Then it’s an orgy and you’re not invited.
Darcy
Lizzy,
So the FCC won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see. They’re trying to take me down from Pemberley but it feels so empty without me.
Darcy
So the FCC won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see. They’re trying to take me down from Pemberley but it feels so empty without me.
Darcy
September 18, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Lizzy,
So the FCC won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see. They’re trying to take me down from Pemberley but it feels so empty without me.
Darcy
So the FCC won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see. They’re trying to take me down from Pemberley but it feels so empty without me.
Darcy