Ashley Joy
@ashley-joy.bsky.social
40 followers 37 following 53 posts
25 yr old aroace lesbian - she/they/it - biracial - autistic - schizoaffective disorder
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ashley-joy.bsky.social
Happiness and love aren't synonymous as they are presented and perpetuated by allonormativity. It's important to recognize the nuance in identity, as well as other forms of attraction that some of us do and don't experience. We are worthy of inclusion and consideration regardless
ashley-joy.bsky.social
"You're aromantic? But everyone needs love!"

Love isn't just romantic, but also centering someone's worth around how they interact with and articulate the idea of intimacy is incredibly othering. Being aromantic isn't a burden; we're whole, and our orientations are a part of that
ashley-joy.bsky.social
There's no wrong way to be aromantic, asexual, or aspec. Intimacy is such a diverse concept that allows for different meanings and associations based on ones own desires and boundaries. All the ways in which we navigate our identities are important, and I think that's beautiful
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Aromantic, asexual, and aspec joy is important to celebrate because it reclaims the narrative of fulfillment. Rather than following societal expectations, it unfolds in moments of self understanding that affirm our identities and experiences as a part of what makes us whole
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Asexual people are often assumed to be naive because of society's focus on attraction as a sign of maturity. In reality, many of us learn who we are by reflecting on the ways attraction is presented to us and understanding where it does or doesn't make sense with our experiences
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people redefine intimacy by centering personal boundaries over normative expectations. In discovering what closeness means for us, we create space for fulfillment without compromise, rooted in self understanding and care for our identities
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people know just how healing visibility is. Being told we're broken before we even have the chance to understand our experiences makes finding language and community so important in recognizing that our identities are a part of what makes us whole
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Being aromantic, asexual, or aspec isn’t about what’s missing. It’s the freedom to live beyond narrow expectations. Joy can be found in community, creativity, and self-discovery within our personal boundaries. Our value isn’t measured by romance or sex, but by the lives we create
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Everyone, regardless of identity, can benefit from learning about aromantic, asexual, and aspec experiences. They broaden our view of intimacy, showing that purpose can be found in countless ways beyond the traditional frameworks of romance and sex, creating space for everybody
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Diminishing the weight of our emotions, desires, and boundaries, in and out of relationships, because we're aroace is dehumanizing and futhers the oppressive structures that are heavily ingrained within society. Our identities aren't a burden or a sacrifice
ashley-joy.bsky.social
That conclusion operates under the idea that we're "missing out" on intrinsic pieces of the human experience and thus we'll never be truly happy, but it fundamentally misunderstands the nuance that exists in our community and how we've broken down normative concepts over time
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Aromantic and asexual identities aren't the result of unfulfilled allonormativity. Centering our quality of life around how we interact with attraction and its associates perpetuates that we're incomplete when our orientations and experiences are a part of what makes us whole
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Accessible language surrounding aromantic, asexual, and aspec identities is essential for creating visibility. When people are told they’re broken before having the ability to understand themselves, words become a lifeline that shows their experiences are real, valid, and shared
ashley-joy.bsky.social
For me, being aromantic and asexual is just as much of a political identity as it is a personal one. Breaking down normative structures and rejecting the imposition of intimacy, desire, and connection as determined by others is such a huge part of how I navigate the world
ashley-joy.bsky.social
Also, some aromantic and asexual people experience difficulty surrounding emotions or expression in relationships of any kind, and it's important to note that our worth shouldn't be centered around how we interact with intimacy and the ideas associated with it
ashley-joy.bsky.social
While it's possible we might express affection differently from what is socially considered normative by employing broader meanings to certain phrases and actions or choosing to not engage in what is generally expected of us, our relationships have weight to them
ashley-joy.bsky.social
To disregard the value of aromantic and asexual intimacy, and the nuances that come with it, is to be ignorant to varied social dynamics and perpetuate a hierarchical view of relationships established by harmful frameworks that aren't inclusive to everybody's experiences
ashley-joy.bsky.social
The idea that aroace people aren't worthy of that consideration is due to societal frameworks perpetuating certain experiences as normative, which aren't inclusive to everyone and pushes a narrative that we're actively our disappointing our partners, which is incredibly othering
ashley-joy.bsky.social
As an aroace person, I dont want someone who feels like being with me is a sacrifice. In the way that I respect unwavering priorities, I need an understanding of the impact my identity has on me. Everyone should get what they want out of relationships, including aroace people
ashley-joy.bsky.social
That statement not only tries to console us over our orientations but also ignores and invalidates those of us who are in happy partnerships and also all of us who don't want them. The validity and worth of our lives shouldn't be centered around the way we experience attraction
ashley-joy.bsky.social
The idea that aromantic and asexual people "haven't met the right person yet" plays into the belief that we're missing out on intrinsic experiences and haven't truly discovered ourselves. It perpetuates that we're incomplete when our identities are a part of what makes us whole
ashley-joy.bsky.social
The concept of intimacy must transcend traditional ideas of sex and romance. When these attractions are viewed as inherent for a deep connection, it pressures an experience onto people without giving them the tools necessary to evaluate what they actually want for themselves