Just watched Last Christmas for the first time and I feel a little silly that I didn’t see the twist coming at all. They practically beat you over the head with it, really. I missed it entirely.
December 22, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Just watched Last Christmas for the first time and I feel a little silly that I didn’t see the twist coming at all. They practically beat you over the head with it, really. I missed it entirely.
My husband: I’ll buy you some more lotion.
Me, cutting the lotion bottle in half with a giant kitchen knife in order to extract every drop of product the stupid pump can’t reach: THAT’S NOT THE POINT
Me, cutting the lotion bottle in half with a giant kitchen knife in order to extract every drop of product the stupid pump can’t reach: THAT’S NOT THE POINT
December 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
My husband: I’ll buy you some more lotion.
Me, cutting the lotion bottle in half with a giant kitchen knife in order to extract every drop of product the stupid pump can’t reach: THAT’S NOT THE POINT
Me, cutting the lotion bottle in half with a giant kitchen knife in order to extract every drop of product the stupid pump can’t reach: THAT’S NOT THE POINT
I’m watching that Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie on Netflix and the two main guys are such generic, interchangeable white dudes that I literally have to use context clues to figure out which one I’m looking at every time one of them appears on screen.
December 9, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I’m watching that Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie on Netflix and the two main guys are such generic, interchangeable white dudes that I literally have to use context clues to figure out which one I’m looking at every time one of them appears on screen.
Stranger Things drinking game: watch the new episodes and drink every time someone says, “That doesn’t make any sense!” Like ANY of this makes sense. These people are shockingly skeptical considering the circumstances.
December 2, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Stranger Things drinking game: watch the new episodes and drink every time someone says, “That doesn’t make any sense!” Like ANY of this makes sense. These people are shockingly skeptical considering the circumstances.
More than once in recent weeks I have had a tax client call and ask what they should do about the IRS notice they got and then when I ask what the notice says, they’re like, “I don’t have it with me.” Help me help you, folks!
December 1, 2025 at 8:35 PM
More than once in recent weeks I have had a tax client call and ask what they should do about the IRS notice they got and then when I ask what the notice says, they’re like, “I don’t have it with me.” Help me help you, folks!
So much for sending this package via priority mail TWO MONTHS AGO.
December 1, 2025 at 3:01 PM
So much for sending this package via priority mail TWO MONTHS AGO.
In a fun Monday morning twist, I get to “per YOUR last email” somebody.
December 1, 2025 at 1:56 PM
In a fun Monday morning twist, I get to “per YOUR last email” somebody.
I’ve just seen someone criticize Wicked because it “relies on outside knowledge of The Wizard of Oz.” Like, yes? It does? Its very existence is based on the assumption that the viewer has seen The Wizard of Oz. What is this take.
November 26, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I’ve just seen someone criticize Wicked because it “relies on outside knowledge of The Wizard of Oz.” Like, yes? It does? Its very existence is based on the assumption that the viewer has seen The Wizard of Oz. What is this take.
Is there a beverage out there that has the fruity flavor and fizz of an energy drink but no caffeine? The only thing coming to mind is seltzer and I generally find those to not have a ton of flavor.
November 26, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Is there a beverage out there that has the fruity flavor and fizz of an energy drink but no caffeine? The only thing coming to mind is seltzer and I generally find those to not have a ton of flavor.
I hope whatever tiktok does to creators who say “youtube” in their videos is bad enough to justify the full body cringe I experience every time I hear them call it “the tube of you.”
November 24, 2025 at 10:30 PM
I hope whatever tiktok does to creators who say “youtube” in their videos is bad enough to justify the full body cringe I experience every time I hear them call it “the tube of you.”
Look out world, I’ve just learned how to do emojis in Outlook. (I am but a basic millennial. Grant me grace.)
November 20, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Look out world, I’ve just learned how to do emojis in Outlook. (I am but a basic millennial. Grant me grace.)
There is simply no reason a client should ever call my cell phone. If I’m at work, call me there. If I’m not at work, don’t call me.
November 19, 2025 at 2:05 PM
There is simply no reason a client should ever call my cell phone. If I’m at work, call me there. If I’m not at work, don’t call me.
I commented on a tiktok and said that if a girl (or anyone, really, but a girl in this case) tells you to stop doing something, you should stop even if you think she means it “playfully,” and men are coming out of the woodwork to tell me I am wrong.
November 3, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I commented on a tiktok and said that if a girl (or anyone, really, but a girl in this case) tells you to stop doing something, you should stop even if you think she means it “playfully,” and men are coming out of the woodwork to tell me I am wrong.
Attention banks: your statements should go 1) deposits, 2) debits, 3) checks in number order. Anything else feels backwards. Putting everything all together by date is pure chaos. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
October 30, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Attention banks: your statements should go 1) deposits, 2) debits, 3) checks in number order. Anything else feels backwards. Putting everything all together by date is pure chaos. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I was Facebook friends with a girl I haven’t seen since middle school but she had a joint account with her husband and they apparently got divorced and he kept the account. So now I’m friends with a random dude who used to be married to my fourth grade bff. Social media is weird.
October 30, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I was Facebook friends with a girl I haven’t seen since middle school but she had a joint account with her husband and they apparently got divorced and he kept the account. So now I’m friends with a random dude who used to be married to my fourth grade bff. Social media is weird.
It’s been gray and dreary for a couple of days and I’ve got a general sense of impending doom due to *waves hands* everything and also some work/life stuff, but I just remembered it’s culturally acceptable to start listening to Christmas music next week and that helped a little.
October 29, 2025 at 2:37 PM
It’s been gray and dreary for a couple of days and I’ve got a general sense of impending doom due to *waves hands* everything and also some work/life stuff, but I just remembered it’s culturally acceptable to start listening to Christmas music next week and that helped a little.
I just need to document that after I set aside a huge chunk of my morning to call the Dept of Revenue, I called them, sat through the menu options, was put on hold, spoke to an an actual person, got the info I needed, & the entire thing took exactly 5 minutes & 4 seconds. It’s a Halloween miracle.
October 28, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I just need to document that after I set aside a huge chunk of my morning to call the Dept of Revenue, I called them, sat through the menu options, was put on hold, spoke to an an actual person, got the info I needed, & the entire thing took exactly 5 minutes & 4 seconds. It’s a Halloween miracle.
Gotta love a returning tax client who calls the office two days before the extended deadline and is like, “We forgot to file my taxes!” Did WE, sir? Did the collective WE forget YOU need to file your taxes? DID WE.
October 13, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Gotta love a returning tax client who calls the office two days before the extended deadline and is like, “We forgot to file my taxes!” Did WE, sir? Did the collective WE forget YOU need to file your taxes? DID WE.
I need tiktok to stop trying to sell me sparkly orange things because right now I’m very inclined to buy them but then what? I just have *another* tumbler but this one’s orange and sparkly and low key kinda ugly?
October 10, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I need tiktok to stop trying to sell me sparkly orange things because right now I’m very inclined to buy them but then what? I just have *another* tumbler but this one’s orange and sparkly and low key kinda ugly?
I brush and floss daily and I still leave the dentist’s office feeling like my gums just survived an assault. There’s no way my hygienist flosses her own teeth with the same energy she just brought to mine.
October 8, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I brush and floss daily and I still leave the dentist’s office feeling like my gums just survived an assault. There’s no way my hygienist flosses her own teeth with the same energy she just brought to mine.
If you don’t dramatically sigh in relief as you fling your bra off the moment you walk into your house, I don’t think we can be friends.
September 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
If you don’t dramatically sigh in relief as you fling your bra off the moment you walk into your house, I don’t think we can be friends.
I know I’m good at a lot of things at work but one thing I’m absolutely top tier good for is knowing how to pronounce clients’ names. My coworkers suck at it.
September 24, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I know I’m good at a lot of things at work but one thing I’m absolutely top tier good for is knowing how to pronounce clients’ names. My coworkers suck at it.
THAT’S NOT A CATEGORY, CONNECTIONS
September 23, 2025 at 1:14 PM
THAT’S NOT A CATEGORY, CONNECTIONS
Get your shit together, AMC
September 19, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Get your shit together, AMC
WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF HAVING A PASSWORD IF YOU’RE GOING TO SEND A CODE EVERY EFFING TIME I TRY TO LOG IN
September 2, 2025 at 6:38 PM
WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF HAVING A PASSWORD IF YOU’RE GOING TO SEND A CODE EVERY EFFING TIME I TRY TO LOG IN