Every single one of these fuckwit MAGA pussies in elected office supporting RFK Jr. should be required to sign a legal document stating that they won't be vaccinating themselves or any of their own children.

Dogs don't ever negatively impact the fight.

As President, I would demand mandatory, professionally-supervised viewings of Homeward Bound by everyone in the nation on their 18th birthday.

If you don't shed a tear, you get placed on a government watch list.

This was the cockiest mf'ing candy bar I ever ate.

Uniquely well-suited for the 90s Grunge NYE celebration in Golden, CO this year.

Google Keep is an invaluable asset and I don't know why I only check it every couple years.

Last week, I said I was ready to get hurt again.

That was a filthy lie. I wasn't ready. The pain was too much to...bear.

But THIS week is different. I've grown as a Chicago Bears fan. This time, I'm truly ready to get hurt again.

Promise.

When I was in Iraq, we were paired with an Iraqi Federal Police battalion to run missions and live on their base for a few days at a time.

Stumbled onto the base defense plans one of our guys came up with.

"Squad of ex-wives" kills me.

I grew up in an Iowa town of 500. In my day, we couldn't field enough players to play 12 man football (begged other teams to play 8 man). We'd never won a playoff game in school history, and a tornado destroyed a quarter of our district this year.

They just won the Iowa Class A state championship.

Yeah, almost as nice as a Super Bowl. #Bears

🙃

Hypothetical game-winning drives by Caleb Williams in games Matt Eberflus managed to lose:

New RFK Jr. Department of Health and Human Services uniform just dropped:

Anyway, here's Hammond during Halloween for a timeline cleanse.