Shit I heard at work
@axxman.bsky.social
Real quotes of things my coworkers have said. Working in a professional office setting can be mind numbing at times, thankfully random weird comments lighten the mood.
“Maybe I’ll have to try that with my eyes closed. It doesn’t look appetizing but it’s exploding all over”
January 15, 2026 at 7:07 PM
“Maybe I’ll have to try that with my eyes closed. It doesn’t look appetizing but it’s exploding all over”
“The D is not working”
December 1, 2025 at 4:52 PM
“The D is not working”
“There are many ways to solve the solution.”
November 13, 2025 at 7:12 PM
“There are many ways to solve the solution.”
“Just trying to paint the puzzle pieces together”
November 6, 2025 at 9:25 PM
“Just trying to paint the puzzle pieces together”
“Thats magic to my ears”
September 3, 2025 at 3:31 PM
“Thats magic to my ears”
“There is a fly in here and it’s driving me nuts! Do we have a fly swapper?”
August 7, 2025 at 4:29 PM
“There is a fly in here and it’s driving me nuts! Do we have a fly swapper?”
“How did it go last yesterday?”
July 25, 2025 at 3:17 PM
“How did it go last yesterday?”
“Every Friday that you’re out is my dick time”
June 26, 2025 at 3:50 PM
“Every Friday that you’re out is my dick time”
“Do you guys know what a ‘Her Mika’ is?”
“The countertop?”
“The countertop?”
May 15, 2025 at 5:12 PM
“Do you guys know what a ‘Her Mika’ is?”
“The countertop?”
“The countertop?”
“Good morning it’s afternoon now.”
May 15, 2025 at 5:07 PM
“Good morning it’s afternoon now.”
“I don’t want you to get thrown under the bandwagon”
May 14, 2025 at 7:12 PM
“I don’t want you to get thrown under the bandwagon”
“One nacho bar is going to upset the balance of our bathroom”
April 14, 2025 at 5:00 PM
“One nacho bar is going to upset the balance of our bathroom”
“Hold on, I’ve got to get this bigger”
April 3, 2025 at 3:43 PM
“Hold on, I’ve got to get this bigger”
“Y’all are seeing my box now right?”
February 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
“Y’all are seeing my box now right?”
“Be right back, I’m gonna go let fudge out”.
Man I hope that’s her dog’s name!
Man I hope that’s her dog’s name!
January 15, 2025 at 8:22 PM
“Be right back, I’m gonna go let fudge out”.
Man I hope that’s her dog’s name!
Man I hope that’s her dog’s name!
“Can you come to my office and tell me if it smells bad?”
January 8, 2025 at 8:05 PM
“Can you come to my office and tell me if it smells bad?”
“Oh my gosh! You should see my box”
December 21, 2024 at 2:24 AM
“Oh my gosh! You should see my box”
“If only they had given me six more inches”
June 25, 2024 at 1:22 AM
“If only they had given me six more inches”
“We are really complexed. Why didn’t this work?”
May 22, 2024 at 8:51 PM
“We are really complexed. Why didn’t this work?”
“So, ‘crap ton’ is that standard or metric?”
May 9, 2024 at 3:52 PM
“So, ‘crap ton’ is that standard or metric?”
April 19, 2024 at 5:24 PM
“If you come with money, they’ll do you first”
March 26, 2024 at 4:15 PM
“If you come with money, they’ll do you first”
“The straw on the camel’s back”
March 21, 2024 at 3:33 PM
“The straw on the camel’s back”
March 6, 2024 at 2:21 PM
“You need that nice hard caulk”
March 4, 2024 at 7:21 PM
“You need that nice hard caulk”