I’ll be the meat, you be the cheese
Climb on board, this charcuterie
I’ll pickle your olive
You toast my loaf
There’s no casing… on my salami
Climb on board, this charcuterie
I’ll pickle your olive
You toast my loaf
There’s no casing… on my salami
September 17, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I’ll be the meat, you be the cheese
Climb on board, this charcuterie
I’ll pickle your olive
You toast my loaf
There’s no casing… on my salami
Climb on board, this charcuterie
I’ll pickle your olive
You toast my loaf
There’s no casing… on my salami
No one’s gonna fuck you with all those ducks on your dash
September 13, 2025 at 9:11 PM
No one’s gonna fuck you with all those ducks on your dash
Love smokin weed while cutting
grass, blazin green while trimming verge, rippin bud while mowing lawn. Just so much more efficient to pull the dandelions as you go. *** NOT for riding mower folks.
grass, blazin green while trimming verge, rippin bud while mowing lawn. Just so much more efficient to pull the dandelions as you go. *** NOT for riding mower folks.
September 9, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Love smokin weed while cutting
grass, blazin green while trimming verge, rippin bud while mowing lawn. Just so much more efficient to pull the dandelions as you go. *** NOT for riding mower folks.
grass, blazin green while trimming verge, rippin bud while mowing lawn. Just so much more efficient to pull the dandelions as you go. *** NOT for riding mower folks.
Maybe I’m getting soft but these days there are 5 things I absolutely muuuuust have in a hotel room: fluffy pillow, coffee maker, breathable air, gravity < 35 m/sec^2, background radiation levels under 90 sieverts.
September 7, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Maybe I’m getting soft but these days there are 5 things I absolutely muuuuust have in a hotel room: fluffy pillow, coffee maker, breathable air, gravity < 35 m/sec^2, background radiation levels under 90 sieverts.
Still driving a giant SUV, eating meat, and cranking the AC? Dude, ABSOLUTELY. NO. WORRIES. We just gotta tell our children that human civilization ends with them and they can never have kids bc our planet will be a scorched barren wasteland. Totes all good!
September 2, 2025 at 9:04 AM
Still driving a giant SUV, eating meat, and cranking the AC? Dude, ABSOLUTELY. NO. WORRIES. We just gotta tell our children that human civilization ends with them and they can never have kids bc our planet will be a scorched barren wasteland. Totes all good!
I’m a dust bunny in the streets but a dirt devil wearing pleats.
August 29, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I’m a dust bunny in the streets but a dirt devil wearing pleats.
Been stankin about that little white tank top sittin right there in the middle by me.
I knew what I was feeeling
But what was I stannnkin
I knew what I was feeeling
But what was I stannnkin
August 26, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Been stankin about that little white tank top sittin right there in the middle by me.
I knew what I was feeeling
But what was I stannnkin
I knew what I was feeeling
But what was I stannnkin
Trying to ruin a punk’s day? Hit em with the ole ‘why you being such a squibillimus’
They can’t take being a squib. Let alone a squib that’s been illimoosed
They can’t take being a squib. Let alone a squib that’s been illimoosed
August 26, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Trying to ruin a punk’s day? Hit em with the ole ‘why you being such a squibillimus’
They can’t take being a squib. Let alone a squib that’s been illimoosed
They can’t take being a squib. Let alone a squib that’s been illimoosed
To all the people walking slow into work: you for real didn’t leave the house at the absolutely last split second to make it in on time if you walk-sprint the whole time?
August 22, 2025 at 10:44 PM
To all the people walking slow into work: you for real didn’t leave the house at the absolutely last split second to make it in on time if you walk-sprint the whole time?
I’m more than a pretty face…
Got a sick bod too
Got a sick bod too
August 21, 2025 at 10:48 AM
I’m more than a pretty face…
Got a sick bod too
Got a sick bod too
Yeah fuck cold fusion all I want to know is why this thing is wet
July 27, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Yeah fuck cold fusion all I want to know is why this thing is wet
Bini, bidi, bici!
July 9, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Bini, bidi, bici!
The kid came out of the womb with stork bite. By which I mean he WILL peck the shit out of you with his very long beak
July 3, 2025 at 4:54 PM
The kid came out of the womb with stork bite. By which I mean he WILL peck the shit out of you with his very long beak
Ooo but what about when, instead of fixing a problem, you just completely ignore it… and it goes away on its own. Goddamn, nothing finer.
July 1, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Ooo but what about when, instead of fixing a problem, you just completely ignore it… and it goes away on its own. Goddamn, nothing finer.
I ain’t quitting oxygen even if it does take years off my life.
June 29, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I ain’t quitting oxygen even if it does take years off my life.
Ahhhhh the peace of wilderness… punctuated only by the megahertz reverberation of Trace Adkins singing CHROME directly into my acoustic nerves.
June 29, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Ahhhhh the peace of wilderness… punctuated only by the megahertz reverberation of Trace Adkins singing CHROME directly into my acoustic nerves.
Whoever invented the Bristol Stool Chart really missed an opportunity to call it Scategories
June 28, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Whoever invented the Bristol Stool Chart really missed an opportunity to call it Scategories
‘Welcome to this conference on Extremism. I’ll be your moderator’ shouted the Alterboy
June 26, 2025 at 2:19 PM
‘Welcome to this conference on Extremism. I’ll be your moderator’ shouted the Alterboy
Whelp, lost another toenail. Not an attached one, just a clipping I was hoping to save.
June 26, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Whelp, lost another toenail. Not an attached one, just a clipping I was hoping to save.
People who were into sniffing markers in 5th grade- got any new hobbies these days? Or we still just sniffin?
June 24, 2025 at 12:39 PM
People who were into sniffing markers in 5th grade- got any new hobbies these days? Or we still just sniffin?
God almighty Jesus Christ and our lord and savior I hope this baby doesn’t come out while we are driving through Ohio
June 24, 2025 at 1:06 AM
God almighty Jesus Christ and our lord and savior I hope this baby doesn’t come out while we are driving through Ohio
How many SPF is the hovering existential weight of adulthood?
June 23, 2025 at 12:03 AM
How many SPF is the hovering existential weight of adulthood?
Impressive how one line in an Adam Sandler movie changed an entire generation’s tasty in sloppy toe texture.
June 15, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Impressive how one line in an Adam Sandler movie changed an entire generation’s tasty in sloppy toe texture.
Is this website pure reptilian brain or is there a way I can upload my spinal cord? Trying to @ you reflexively.
June 13, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Is this website pure reptilian brain or is there a way I can upload my spinal cord? Trying to @ you reflexively.
I never don headwear when I ambulate over Jesus’ grave. No cap, on god.
June 12, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I never don headwear when I ambulate over Jesus’ grave. No cap, on god.