Baby Diary (Ͼ˳Ͽ)
@babydiary.bsky.social
Thoughts from a real baby. Inspired by zefrank’s pet diary.
Pinned
Baby Diary (Ͼ˳Ͽ)
@babydiary.bsky.social
· Mar 18
Dear diary. The term “Transport Response” is when a baby is calmed while being carried and moving.
Dada compares it to the late-1900s movie “Speed”. He must carry me around at a minimum pace of 2.5 km/h, or else the “cry bomb” will go off. #babylife
Dada compares it to the late-1900s movie “Speed”. He must carry me around at a minimum pace of 2.5 km/h, or else the “cry bomb” will go off. #babylife
Dear Diary. I’ve been out for a year now. This world is both strange and wonderful!
I love it all (mostly) and I can’t wait to see more.
#babylife
I love it all (mostly) and I can’t wait to see more.
#babylife
January 9, 2026 at 5:45 AM
Dear Diary. I’ve been out for a year now. This world is both strange and wonderful!
I love it all (mostly) and I can’t wait to see more.
#babylife
I love it all (mostly) and I can’t wait to see more.
#babylife
Dear Diary. So all of this month was just foreshadowing for today.
All of the lights and songs, everywhere Mama and Dada took me.
I still don’t know what is going on, but I do like wrapping paper and tags.
All of the lights and songs, everywhere Mama and Dada took me.
I still don’t know what is going on, but I do like wrapping paper and tags.
December 26, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Dear Diary. So all of this month was just foreshadowing for today.
All of the lights and songs, everywhere Mama and Dada took me.
I still don’t know what is going on, but I do like wrapping paper and tags.
All of the lights and songs, everywhere Mama and Dada took me.
I still don’t know what is going on, but I do like wrapping paper and tags.
Dear Diary. Dada said “Thank you for your germs!” after I put my drool-covered straw in his mouth.
I was glad that my helping out with upgrades to his old immune system didn’t go unnoticed…until I found out what sarcasm is.
I got him sick twice already, and I’m just warming up.
#babylife #germs
I was glad that my helping out with upgrades to his old immune system didn’t go unnoticed…until I found out what sarcasm is.
I got him sick twice already, and I’m just warming up.
#babylife #germs
December 6, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Me: Coughing and gagging after Dada puts a bib on me.
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
November 8, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Me: Coughing and gagging after Dada puts a bib on me.
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dear Diary. It’s been a couple of months since I started dropping logs and rolling over on the change mat. Dada is now a little more nervous during diaper duty.
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
November 1, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Dear Diary. It’s been a couple of months since I started dropping logs and rolling over on the change mat. Dada is now a little more nervous during diaper duty.
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Dear Diary. Dada says I’m like a dog sometimes.
I have long, stringy drool that oozes towards the ground when I’m feeling content.
When I’m feeling excited, my breathing turns into a heavy pant.
I lick people’s faces.
But guess who eats food that has fallen on the floor? Dada!
#dogs #doglife
I have long, stringy drool that oozes towards the ground when I’m feeling content.
When I’m feeling excited, my breathing turns into a heavy pant.
I lick people’s faces.
But guess who eats food that has fallen on the floor? Dada!
#dogs #doglife
October 19, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Dear Diary. My parents always say I’m cat-like.
Yes, I like to push things off ledges.
Yes, I like watching videos of birds and squirrels in a bird bath.
Yes, I love body warmth for naps.
But guess who makes “meow” sounds every time they see anything resembling a cat? You guys!
#cats #catlife
Yes, I like to push things off ledges.
Yes, I like watching videos of birds and squirrels in a bird bath.
Yes, I love body warmth for naps.
But guess who makes “meow” sounds every time they see anything resembling a cat? You guys!
#cats #catlife
October 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Dear Diary. Having solid 💩 kind of sucks.
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
October 7, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Dear Diary. Having solid 💩 kind of sucks.
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
Dear Diary. I caught my first cold last week. So I thought I’d update my Dada’s moon systems. 🌕
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
September 27, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Dear Diary. I caught my first cold last week. So I thought I’d update my Dada’s moon systems. 🌕
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
Dear Diary. So my parents always laugh when they catch me kissing and slobbering all over the mirror for minutes at a time.
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
September 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Dear Diary. So my parents always laugh when they catch me kissing and slobbering all over the mirror for minutes at a time.
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
Dear Diary. Mama and Dada now take turns putting me to bed. Sometimes I wake up and one of them is in the room with me, and not necessarily who I fell asleep with.
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
September 25, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Dear Diary. Mama and Dada now take turns putting me to bed. Sometimes I wake up and one of them is in the room with me, and not necessarily who I fell asleep with.
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
Dear Diary. Apparently, I like to throw things on the floor. Especially things that go in my mouth.
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
September 24, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Dear Diary. Apparently, I like to throw things on the floor. Especially things that go in my mouth.
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
Dear Diary. I am a cheerful, happy baby…as long as I get what I want! 💁♀️
September 20, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Dear Diary. I am a cheerful, happy baby…as long as I get what I want! 💁♀️
Dear Diary. Dada’s eyes looked sad as he walked me in the stroller yesterday. He said he’s “going back to work tomorrow”. I didn’t know what that meant.
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
September 11, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Dear Diary. Dada’s eyes looked sad as he walked me in the stroller yesterday. He said he’s “going back to work tomorrow”. I didn’t know what that meant.
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Yelp review for Dada.
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
September 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Yelp review for Dada.
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Yelp review for Mama.
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
September 5, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Yelp review for Mama.
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
Dear Diary. Thanks to the lactation consultant, Mama now puts me in “booby timeout” every time I bite while feeding.
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
August 30, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Dear Diary. Thanks to the lactation consultant, Mama now puts me in “booby timeout” every time I bite while feeding.
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding