If you own a camera, choose the settings on that camera, give that camera to a monkey; the monkey owns the selfie it takes.

If you own a computer, choose the settings on that computer, give that computer to an AI; I don't think you've been paying attention.

I know I'm supposed to be overjoyed at having the privilege to work from home but today I worked twice the hours I'm paid for and traversed a grand total of 884 steps.

Sometimes my work means nothing and achieves nothing. So my pay check is just compensation for a period of unnecessary anxiety.

When the stats crew at work "um actually" me, i wait an hour and then sit within ear shot, casually mention something in favour of the gambler's falacy and watch them implode with frustration.

Someone reminded the weather here that it's supposed to be winter and now it's mad at us. Who'd have thought the environment would be sensitive to change.

I am sitting at my desk with one sock on and have been bouncing around random topics in my head.

I only bring this up because two hours ago I started putting my socks on while logging into a client site that's now timed out and I really need to go and get diagnosed for inattentive ADHD.