My destination? Fragrance.

When you take a dump in a hide-a-bed, it's called a Murphy Brown

I have Smart bulbs in almost of my rooms at my house. I feel like a god.

People that rotate their monitors at work are bozos. "Oh, look at my rectangles! They're tall now!" Grow up.

Mitch is on The Sloppy Boys Blowout discussing Back to the Future Part 3 and singing Heenie Heenie Hee 🎻 www.patreon.com/posts/123099...

The lyrics to the Perfect Strangers theme reads like a proud boy manifesto

Marty: Woah this is heavy!

Doc: There's that word again, "heavy." Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there something wrong with the earth's gravitational pull?

Marty: No it's my giant fuckin hog I gotta carry around all day.

Doc: Hell yeah.

I just shoveled the area my dog goes to the bathroom. At one point a piece of ice or a poopcicle shot up and bounced off my the right side of my sunglasses. I could've been blinded AND got pink eye.

They're really out there naming pills like Pusiniafart and Babylesbo.

I honestly do not care if there's microplastics in my nuts.