me: *just woke up*
her: don't talk to me unless you wanna deal with me crying
me: im sorry ur mood is down, here's some supportive words
her: *immediately starts arguing w me* then later says to drop the topic
me: ok I don't want to argue first thing anyway
her: oh so you don't want to talk

????

I wanna write so bad . Like there's ideas at the tip of my fingers , I reread chapter 6, I looked at my outline for jazz au, and yet the pure exhaustion lacing my entire being at the mere thought of writing is draining

anyway point is I feel estranged from everything . and idk how to get back in ig?? esp when im not writing n feel like ppl only care abt my writing sigh

I estranged myself so badly from my xiv folks I feel like I have to start over with remaking friends there 😞

turns out i stayed up real late last night anyway so we talked and things are good again ... we both just, had terrible weeks and needed to get our shit together

[~]

I did not hop into xiv LOL I'm really focused in on this fucking map completion in GW2...I am at 65% dawg . kms

had to leave the ultimate static i was in bc of my late night shows and i can't reliably be there if i need to prep at 6 and raid goes until 7 LOL i really need to find a pst friendly crew thats not going into dinner time

yeehaw just got back from a gig and it went pretty damn well! It was an audition for a high profile gig in February and we passed and got that gig heh and they want us back again next year 🙂‍↕️

This wedding should be really sweet and fun;; maybe seeing a couple in love and their family supporting them while I'm helping provide the music for their special day will help me emotionally.

Can't stop thinking about the kid who got killed at the train tracks a couple weeks after I almost yeeted myself there and how maybe, just maybe, that kid would be alive if I let myself get hit because there would have been a notice posted. Better I die than that kid. I've been a waste since.

[~]

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