Birdman
@bardnon.bsky.social
To dumb too be smart. Too poor to be rich.
The club couldn’t handle me because I couldn’t handle the club.
January 15, 2026 at 2:34 PM
The club couldn’t handle me because I couldn’t handle the club.
Woke up woke this morning
January 13, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Woke up woke this morning
I like to refrigerate before opening because I’m a rebel.
December 31, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I like to refrigerate before opening because I’m a rebel.
AI Will Smith eating spaghetti was our true downfall.
December 9, 2025 at 2:58 PM
AI Will Smith eating spaghetti was our true downfall.
Did He stop getting us or did he just run out of money?
October 2, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Did He stop getting us or did he just run out of money?
Picked up that new cabbage flavored vape cartridge. Shit is lit
September 17, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Picked up that new cabbage flavored vape cartridge. Shit is lit
My European friend asked me to describe America so I told him to imagine a vape shop where the only customer is an undercover cop trying to buy fake weed. #America
August 18, 2025 at 10:52 AM
My European friend asked me to describe America so I told him to imagine a vape shop where the only customer is an undercover cop trying to buy fake weed. #America
No one mentioned my new mustache at last night’s dinner. I’m ok guys, thanks for asking.
August 14, 2025 at 1:43 PM
No one mentioned my new mustache at last night’s dinner. I’m ok guys, thanks for asking.
tortoises do be fuckin’
August 13, 2025 at 4:46 PM
tortoises do be fuckin’
Alright so what's going on with Sydney's Weeny jeans?
August 5, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Alright so what's going on with Sydney's Weeny jeans?
Finally nailed down the name of my autobiography..
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
August 4, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Finally nailed down the name of my autobiography..
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
When the website lets you choose your own security questions:
“Most comfortable place you’ve taken a shit:”
“Most comfortable place you’ve taken a shit:”
August 1, 2025 at 4:42 PM
When the website lets you choose your own security questions:
“Most comfortable place you’ve taken a shit:”
“Most comfortable place you’ve taken a shit:”
Work is doing this really cool technology thing that allows me to implant a chip in my brain. Sounds fun. I also get to spend the night here plugged into an interface or something like that ha so cool.
July 22, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Work is doing this really cool technology thing that allows me to implant a chip in my brain. Sounds fun. I also get to spend the night here plugged into an interface or something like that ha so cool.
Is New Zealand just spicy Australia?
July 3, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Is New Zealand just spicy Australia?
🎶Mama, don’t let you babies grow up to sing bro-country.🎶
June 10, 2025 at 1:48 PM
🎶Mama, don’t let you babies grow up to sing bro-country.🎶
Guess I’ll play the last of us part 1 for the 34th time 🤷♂️
June 8, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Guess I’ll play the last of us part 1 for the 34th time 🤷♂️
More like Suckcession amirite?
June 3, 2025 at 6:36 PM
More like Suckcession amirite?
I’m built different. Peanut butter runs through my veins.
June 3, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I’m built different. Peanut butter runs through my veins.
“Orange doesn’t rhyme with anything.”
Eminem:
Eminem:
May 8, 2025 at 1:46 PM
“Orange doesn’t rhyme with anything.”
Eminem:
Eminem:
🎵 I’m just a squiiiid and life is a nightmare 🎵
May 6, 2025 at 2:06 PM
🎵 I’m just a squiiiid and life is a nightmare 🎵
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
*dies*
Dang, wish I could wake up.
*dies*
Dang, wish I could wake up.
April 26, 2025 at 4:46 AM
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
*dies*
Dang, wish I could wake up.
*dies*
Dang, wish I could wake up.
I’m a bit of a carnivore-dinosaur connoisseur.
Ok, I’m not but how cool does that sound?
Ok, I’m not but how cool does that sound?
April 10, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I’m a bit of a carnivore-dinosaur connoisseur.
Ok, I’m not but how cool does that sound?
Ok, I’m not but how cool does that sound?