We addled scroll
in a glow-haze of rain,
the whispers of digital ghosts
in our ears, hearts liking,
unliking, friending, unfriending—
curating the components
of our selves for the viral crush,
souls huddled
safely? from the screen's early light.

Sometimes I growl
to cuddle you with fierce energy
like the engine of a chainsaw. To
smother you in freedoms; to
bandage you with blades; to
swallow you whole,
after kissing.

But then you kiss me differently
+ all my selves melt
into one: being
yours.

God, such a beautiful word/definition.

Damn shame my mind auto-jumps to lols.

Still, adding to my sheath.

I told you
I'd claim you so
hard
I'd leave a ring
on your finger

but you didn't budge.
And sweet terror
filled me.

Sorry
for apologizing
about these feelings
I should bravely
shove straight into the wind.
In spite of how
you make me feel every
time I do. Or,
in spite of how
I blame you every
time I bare my stupid heart
to the North Wind.

Touched that you replied,
even as a stone wall
sitting
where my friend sat

She is the exact poison
I am an antidote for but
I am a poison for which
she has no recourse.

How to write
when a pencil's too heavy?
When ink just spills?
When fountain pens dry?
When brains tread water
and air feels thin?
When your calendar is empty
and you're too old to make friends
or change careers
or change the past
or think one clear thought
to satisfy the looping mind
and let go?

You'd gone,
went away
for awhile
so I kept
looking left,
front, right,
back, brain wired
to see you

you hadn't Gone gone
Away away
but
(looking) where
confused
i

...

How long does denial dance?