Whaaat's thaaat? You ate alll your food out of the dog bowl, wore your collar the whooole day, aaand when I held out my fingers you went lick~lick slurping them all clean?

D'awww alrighty~ then you can sleep in my bed tonight, but only if you prooomise to be a good pet for me tomorrow too, okay?~

You know I just want to share my joy with you. That's why, if I like something, you should like it too! You should learn to love it. Penny loves it. You should love it. You should sing its praises and gush about how wonderful it is, how it made Penny so happy...

What makes you more likely to get my attention? Tips below~

1. Reply fast. The cute ones with notifications on that absorb my posts right away get spoiled.

2. Be unique. If someone already said the same thing as you, they're getting noticed first.

3. Reply often. Loyalty is inevitably rewarded.

"Because I said so", but instead of speaking like a grouchy parent, I'm whispering while holding your cheeks steady, gazing adoringly into those eternally-subjugated eyes, smiling like the angel of your dreams, knowing I'm about to get *exactly* what I want...