“it’s in my head,
i’ll talk to god
when
i am dead”

years pass.

i just
want to stay in bed a little longer with you.

stupid me.
i woke up and one day.
you weren’t there anymore.

me,

and all of the space-time between us!
do you even look at the moon anymore?!
do the stars even shine bright anymore?

is there not a goddamn valley for me to bellow out my goddamn air, nestled deep in these goddamn lungs,

free me.
absolve me.
absolve me.
absolve me.

it would’ve meant the world to me.
for you to still pretend.

you used to really
like me.
i think.
i like to think.

we used to be best friends.
i don’t know why.
i still think
about you
but it just gets worse as time passes instead of better.

i’m really sorry.
i wish you stayed
a little longer, babe
just a little longer,
maybe just.
a day or two longer.

it’s spring and you don’t even love me anymore

it’s a curse,
it was all such a goddamn curse.

can’t you come back and finish it off?
what’s the point of kicking my teeth in just to leave me bleeding just to suffer

baby.
it’s winter. and you don’t even know me anymore.

holding a dessert item.
(in my head)
and why did you ever have to like me so much?

it’s a goddamn curse
you’re a goddamn curse
you’re such a goddamn curse

it’s winter and you don’t even love me anymore
it’s summer and you don’t even love me anymore
it’s autumn and you don’t even love me anymore

i really don’t care about anything
i just want to pretend like we get to lay in the same bed together again

and things didn’t end the way they did
i am staring at the ceiling still

and crying into my respirator
we can’t even go back
we can’t even go back,

i am seeing a photograph of you

goddamn that really ruins it for me