If only it weren't for those cursed bone spurs he'd have been the best to ever do it, I'm sure.

What other prizes could Trump get? The Us Weekly Medal of Freedom? An IHOP Purple Heart? Wine Enthusiast Monthly's Award for Literature?

Given how UEFA institutionally hates FIFA though, I think the best thing to do would be for them to now issue their own Peace Prize to Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Or, Barack Obama.

Ah! I so appreciate seeing this. Ours is 16 months now, so will definitely be cribbing from this come Christmas planning.

Selecting and cutting large/scrolled blocks of text in iMessage appears to be actually impossible now. Focus blips in and out, keyboard comes and goes, position gets reset.

Has really fucked my habit of breaking overlong messages into separate posts.

I was pulling for him to be paraded in on a palanquin by bearers in Brendan Carr masks, then delivering his monologue from an effigy of the president as a bearskin rug.

But this was probably the better move.

I’m reading through the quotes and the number of versions of “CouchGPT” have me nodding “yeah, I see why he disables comments.” (Just to stay sane in notifications, not because it’s a bad joke.)

It’s the Stargate/Dukes of Hazzard reboot we desperately didn’t want.

Also; “Godspeed You! Snack Emperor”

…and the perfectly poached solo offshoot: Jammy eggs eggs.