He’s unspeakable

Only if it’s a matter of life and death. To avoid such atrocious dilemmas in the future, have a lamp just inside the door.

We older ones had to do Country Dancing on nothing stronger than orange squash when we were in primary school. Once you’ve done a Pat a cake Polka and bowed to your corner lady sober - a bit of shuffling side to side holds few terrors.

Good plan. Autumn is bad enough without making it uncomfortable too!

Threw it straight in the bin.