'Oh snap!'?
(Also, hope the finger is still structurally sound!)

Obviously awful that this is getting published in any paper of record, but it's slightly a relief that this guy was always a sewage pump, not a seemingly adequate journalist terraformed into facism by whatever incentives are out there.

The crux of his argument is 'you are not morally obligated to post on X instead of Bluesky'. You're missing about 90% of the context here.

Wight_Wright, GrimSmith, Artisanal_Face_Mulch, Ruthless_Nasty, Abyssal_Tome, Adult_Cat.

obviously 'worried about overcrowding' is euphemistic here

Something something won't commit to a safe passage something

If ever there's a time to drunk order chocolate, publication day must be it! Have yourself a throne of M&Ms!

Wants you to shave your eyebrows off

I think they probably do! But brushing it away is reflexive and nearly effortless, like the way a happy kid might occasionally think about mortality, then forget it and go back to playing. Even the ones who might feel lingering guilt have mental scripts to deal with it.

Two months later, I have finally learned that Stove Top is a type of stuffing. Genuinely thought you were looking for a gluten free version of the large appliance.

I sometimes think people don't read past the first line, even with only 300 characters to cover.

Hope you feel so much better it becomes scary, like the limiter on your dark and malignant power is now gone!