ænonymous dj
@bitterweddingdj.bsky.social
You can’t hate harder than me or your money back.
Triple wedding weekend from Hell. Controlling brides, mean caterers, inconsiderate guests, hot/humid weather, fights, broken equipment… you name it.
Tonight’s gig ends at 10 PM. See you at 11.
Tonight’s gig ends at 10 PM. See you at 11.
October 5, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Triple wedding weekend from Hell. Controlling brides, mean caterers, inconsiderate guests, hot/humid weather, fights, broken equipment… you name it.
Tonight’s gig ends at 10 PM. See you at 11.
Tonight’s gig ends at 10 PM. See you at 11.
I have perfected closed mouth yawning.
October 4, 2025 at 2:15 AM
I have perfected closed mouth yawning.
Wedding receptions have become like school in summertime. No class.
a cartoon character wearing an orange hat is standing in front of a pile of trash .
ALT: a cartoon character wearing an orange hat is standing in front of a pile of trash .
media.tenor.com
September 26, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Wedding receptions have become like school in summertime. No class.
No one noticed I didn’t play Earth, Wind & Fire yesterday.
September 22, 2025 at 4:47 AM
No one noticed I didn’t play Earth, Wind & Fire yesterday.
Tonight’s bride went upstairs to rest about 40 minutes ago. She said she is overstimulated. Overstimulated…? What are you, four years old?
September 21, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Tonight’s bride went upstairs to rest about 40 minutes ago. She said she is overstimulated. Overstimulated…? What are you, four years old?
Using AI for therapy is way more efficient
September 15, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Using AI for therapy is way more efficient
How this wedding trend works
September 14, 2025 at 12:05 AM
How this wedding trend works
Outdoor ceremony today
September 12, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Outdoor ceremony today
I'm going to buy super cheap trophies in bulk so I can hand them out at weddings to the best dressed guests. And by “best dressed” I mean zero effort was made. Without saying anything I’ll just present it, take a photo with them, then say "Congratulations on your achievement!”.
August 24, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I'm going to buy super cheap trophies in bulk so I can hand them out at weddings to the best dressed guests. And by “best dressed” I mean zero effort was made. Without saying anything I’ll just present it, take a photo with them, then say "Congratulations on your achievement!”.
PRO TIP: Don’t play patriotic songs at your wedding, even if you’re in the military. The energy it sparks from the crowd is aggressive jingoism. It’s not fun.
August 23, 2025 at 2:57 AM
PRO TIP: Don’t play patriotic songs at your wedding, even if you’re in the military. The energy it sparks from the crowd is aggressive jingoism. It’s not fun.
Listen up, screwheads.
They’re called song REQUESTS.
Not song DEMANDS.
They’re called song REQUESTS.
Not song DEMANDS.
August 23, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Listen up, screwheads.
They’re called song REQUESTS.
Not song DEMANDS.
They’re called song REQUESTS.
Not song DEMANDS.
I’m convinced the lesbians in this lesbian wedding crowd are not wearing deodorant as some form of defiance.
a close up of a man 's face with netflix written on the bottom right
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with netflix written on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
August 16, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I’m convinced the lesbians in this lesbian wedding crowd are not wearing deodorant as some form of defiance.
There are not enough women who know about clear deodorant. I get it. You don’t want crusty white stuff on your dress. I understand.
Also, you stink.
Also, you stink.
a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is making a funny face
ALT: a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is making a funny face
media.tenor.com
August 11, 2025 at 1:24 AM
There are not enough women who know about clear deodorant. I get it. You don’t want crusty white stuff on your dress. I understand.
Also, you stink.
Also, you stink.
Tonight’s bride and groom decided against splurging on air conditioning.
a man wearing headphones is sweating while sitting in an airplane .
ALT: a man wearing headphones is sweating while sitting in an airplane .
media.tenor.com
August 2, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Tonight’s bride and groom decided against splurging on air conditioning.
All they do is smoke, smoke, smoke
No matter what
There’s a wedding going on and no one really gives a fuck
They all just step out of the building, grab a cigarette, and light up
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
No matter what
There’s a wedding going on and no one really gives a fuck
They all just step out of the building, grab a cigarette, and light up
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
a black and white photo of a man with a beard wearing a sweater and jacket .
ALT: a black and white photo of a man with a beard wearing a sweater and jacket .
media.tenor.com
July 13, 2025 at 7:32 AM
All they do is smoke, smoke, smoke
No matter what
There’s a wedding going on and no one really gives a fuck
They all just step out of the building, grab a cigarette, and light up
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
No matter what
There’s a wedding going on and no one really gives a fuck
They all just step out of the building, grab a cigarette, and light up
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
And they stay there
Unique reaction to “Pink Pony Club” from the mother of the bride. “This isn’t a trans wedding. Turn it off.”
a woman in a red dress is standing in front of a sign that says " gut "
ALT: a woman in a red dress is standing in front of a sign that says " gut "
media.tenor.com
July 7, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Unique reaction to “Pink Pony Club” from the mother of the bride. “This isn’t a trans wedding. Turn it off.”
If this ring bearer doesn’t stop screaming
July 6, 2025 at 8:23 PM
If this ring bearer doesn’t stop screaming
Paper plates and plasticware tonight.
June 21, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Paper plates and plasticware tonight.
The bride is cold so the venue turned up the heat in the ballroom. Everyone is now sweaty and uncomfortable. The father of the bride asked to lower the temperature. I watched the banquet director touch the thermostat, pretend to push buttons, and leave it at 76°.
elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames with joyreactor.com at the bottom
ALT: elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames with joyreactor.com at the bottom
media.tenor.com
June 8, 2025 at 11:34 PM
The bride is cold so the venue turned up the heat in the ballroom. Everyone is now sweaty and uncomfortable. The father of the bride asked to lower the temperature. I watched the banquet director touch the thermostat, pretend to push buttons, and leave it at 76°.
Is sitting criss-cross applesauce, hiding behind a table, and eating foods like a rodent something that’s TAUGHT to photographers? SO MANY act as though they need to quickly choke down as much deep-fried coconut shrimp as they can before someone from the venue slaps it out of their hand.
June 8, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Is sitting criss-cross applesauce, hiding behind a table, and eating foods like a rodent something that’s TAUGHT to photographers? SO MANY act as though they need to quickly choke down as much deep-fried coconut shrimp as they can before someone from the venue slaps it out of their hand.
I left my hard drive (all my music) on the kitchen counter when I left for this wedding.
Tonight will be played directly from YouTube. WITH the commercials.
Tonight will be played directly from YouTube. WITH the commercials.
May 31, 2025 at 6:45 PM
I left my hard drive (all my music) on the kitchen counter when I left for this wedding.
Tonight will be played directly from YouTube. WITH the commercials.
Tonight will be played directly from YouTube. WITH the commercials.
It would only take one announcement on my microphone to completely ruin this entire wedding.
May 24, 2025 at 12:58 AM
It would only take one announcement on my microphone to completely ruin this entire wedding.
There is more than one guest at this wedding wearing a tuxedo tee shirt.
a man wearing a tuxedo shirt talks to another man
ALT: a man wearing a tuxedo shirt talks to another man
media.tenor.com
May 17, 2025 at 11:12 PM
There is more than one guest at this wedding wearing a tuxedo tee shirt.
Every guest is on their phone.
Every. Single. One.
People just can’t turn off their dopamine device. Not even for a wedding.
I walked by an eighty year old woman sitting at her table playing Candy Crush… during the bride and groom’s first dance. 🤦🏻♂️
Every. Single. One.
People just can’t turn off their dopamine device. Not even for a wedding.
I walked by an eighty year old woman sitting at her table playing Candy Crush… during the bride and groom’s first dance. 🤦🏻♂️
May 11, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Every guest is on their phone.
Every. Single. One.
People just can’t turn off their dopamine device. Not even for a wedding.
I walked by an eighty year old woman sitting at her table playing Candy Crush… during the bride and groom’s first dance. 🤦🏻♂️
Every. Single. One.
People just can’t turn off their dopamine device. Not even for a wedding.
I walked by an eighty year old woman sitting at her table playing Candy Crush… during the bride and groom’s first dance. 🤦🏻♂️