TWO HATCHETS

Only real downside is that you can give yourself some pretty gnarly cuts if youre trying to shave before youre completely awake

I'd say it's marginally more difficult than a multi blade razor but an overall better experience. Roughly the same quality of shave with less irritation.

Can we pretend that satellites in the night sky are shooting stars?
ABOLISH ICE

I immediately assume anyone who says "I can't cook" means "I am going to weaponize my incompetence to get out of doing anything and everything."
ABOLISH ICE

The more I think on it, the more certain I am that sports fans are just fandom folk that evolved pre internet. I'm just a simple shitposter but we share a common ancestor. I look upon you and see my brothers and sisters and other inclusive terminologies
ABOLISH ICE

Just look upon the humble cheesehead and you understand that they are an important and valuable part of society. The reasoning may be lost to time, but they have enriched the world by participating. People are at their best when they're inexplicable and incomprehensible.
ABOLISH ICE

They're just a different flavor of the same kind of stupid that I am. I still don't get it, but I don't need too. Ride on you beautiful disasters <3
ABOLISH ICE

Shit bro, I thought you wanted a Bearcat? The return policy isnt great but I'll see what I can do

She is just so small and that white tuft on her neck is just so cute. I 10000% cannot. I am in shambles.

Respectable, but im getting eaten by a dinosaur

Your efforts are appreciated <3