I told the truth. I said the words I've held for 43 years.
I shouldn't be surprised by the resulting sound of crickets but I guess I'd hoped for better.
I guess I'm still not worth the effort.
I shouldn't be surprised by the resulting sound of crickets but I guess I'd hoped for better.
I guess I'm still not worth the effort.
November 10, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I told the truth. I said the words I've held for 43 years.
I shouldn't be surprised by the resulting sound of crickets but I guess I'd hoped for better.
I guess I'm still not worth the effort.
I shouldn't be surprised by the resulting sound of crickets but I guess I'd hoped for better.
I guess I'm still not worth the effort.
I did it.
I sat down to write it.
I made my fingers form the words.
I bled the words onto the page. Each letter breaking the finger that tapped it.
I did it.
I opened the conversation, hit send, then begged myself not to puke.
I cannot take it back.
Its the truth that has isolated me since I was 11
I sat down to write it.
I made my fingers form the words.
I bled the words onto the page. Each letter breaking the finger that tapped it.
I did it.
I opened the conversation, hit send, then begged myself not to puke.
I cannot take it back.
Its the truth that has isolated me since I was 11
October 7, 2025 at 4:45 PM
I did it.
I sat down to write it.
I made my fingers form the words.
I bled the words onto the page. Each letter breaking the finger that tapped it.
I did it.
I opened the conversation, hit send, then begged myself not to puke.
I cannot take it back.
Its the truth that has isolated me since I was 11
I sat down to write it.
I made my fingers form the words.
I bled the words onto the page. Each letter breaking the finger that tapped it.
I did it.
I opened the conversation, hit send, then begged myself not to puke.
I cannot take it back.
Its the truth that has isolated me since I was 11
I miss playing games
I miss loud uproarious laughter
I miss the music always great and never hushed
I miss spontaneous outings
I miss basketball, kickball, and volleyball
I never imagined a life so silent
I miss loud uproarious laughter
I miss the music always great and never hushed
I miss spontaneous outings
I miss basketball, kickball, and volleyball
I never imagined a life so silent
July 27, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I miss playing games
I miss loud uproarious laughter
I miss the music always great and never hushed
I miss spontaneous outings
I miss basketball, kickball, and volleyball
I never imagined a life so silent
I miss loud uproarious laughter
I miss the music always great and never hushed
I miss spontaneous outings
I miss basketball, kickball, and volleyball
I never imagined a life so silent
So many questions, zero answers
April 18, 2025 at 11:56 PM
So many questions, zero answers
I remember the last time I truly cried. I was being dumped off on yet another relative. I didn't understand why, but I overheard the discussion of that decision. One of my worst offenses was "never-ending crying".
I turned it off to be more likable.
I have never been able to turn it back on.
I turned it off to be more likable.
I have never been able to turn it back on.
March 6, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I remember the last time I truly cried. I was being dumped off on yet another relative. I didn't understand why, but I overheard the discussion of that decision. One of my worst offenses was "never-ending crying".
I turned it off to be more likable.
I have never been able to turn it back on.
I turned it off to be more likable.
I have never been able to turn it back on.
I am ill of tasting your words forced into my mouth. The stench of your filthy heart assaulting my deepest sinuses, gagging me. This is that point. I see.
Aka: eat a dick you fucking hag.
Aka: eat a dick you fucking hag.
February 22, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I am ill of tasting your words forced into my mouth. The stench of your filthy heart assaulting my deepest sinuses, gagging me. This is that point. I see.
Aka: eat a dick you fucking hag.
Aka: eat a dick you fucking hag.
The ways in which one is silenced are subtle or flashing. Whether with a joke or a shift in energy, the end result is the same. I keep what i have to say to myself. This is the choking.
February 6, 2025 at 1:52 PM
The ways in which one is silenced are subtle or flashing. Whether with a joke or a shift in energy, the end result is the same. I keep what i have to say to myself. This is the choking.
You're not pretty, but not ugly I guess. Plain! That's the word I was trying to think of. Plain might not be interesting but it's solid. Just be thankful you aren't outright ugly. Do something about your weight, though, so you don't end up Plain and Fat because that is just ugly.
Thanks, Mom.
Thanks, Mom.
January 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
You're not pretty, but not ugly I guess. Plain! That's the word I was trying to think of. Plain might not be interesting but it's solid. Just be thankful you aren't outright ugly. Do something about your weight, though, so you don't end up Plain and Fat because that is just ugly.
Thanks, Mom.
Thanks, Mom.
I'm choking. Choking on words impossible to give voice to without lighting you on fire. My throat raw from swallowing the rage and the hurt so you dont hurt from me.
I dare never release this because I will never be able to stop screaming. It would consume all I love and burn it to ashes
I dare never release this because I will never be able to stop screaming. It would consume all I love and burn it to ashes
January 26, 2025 at 3:24 PM
I'm choking. Choking on words impossible to give voice to without lighting you on fire. My throat raw from swallowing the rage and the hurt so you dont hurt from me.
I dare never release this because I will never be able to stop screaming. It would consume all I love and burn it to ashes
I dare never release this because I will never be able to stop screaming. It would consume all I love and burn it to ashes
I have no words for the dread I feel. I'm told I am being dramatic about how I see our country going down in flames. Women's rights are about to be severely impacted and I just need to ask you who voted for this, What did you get in return for our daughters' rights? Cheaper gas? Moral high ground?
January 19, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I have no words for the dread I feel. I'm told I am being dramatic about how I see our country going down in flames. Women's rights are about to be severely impacted and I just need to ask you who voted for this, What did you get in return for our daughters' rights? Cheaper gas? Moral high ground?
Artificial clearing of the mind noise is unnerving some days. Yes I can focus and I am generally more productive but goddammit it interferes with my natural ability to forget childhood hurts. I am not enjoying these memories. I think I like my imperfect brain better. This is beyond painful.
October 25, 2024 at 11:32 PM
Artificial clearing of the mind noise is unnerving some days. Yes I can focus and I am generally more productive but goddammit it interferes with my natural ability to forget childhood hurts. I am not enjoying these memories. I think I like my imperfect brain better. This is beyond painful.
The ocean knows I'm leaving tomorrow so it sent me That Light to bring me home to you.
August 11, 2024 at 12:00 AM
The ocean knows I'm leaving tomorrow so it sent me That Light to bring me home to you.
21 years today.
A love so deep it aches in my bones when we are apart
A love so pure it cleanses away years of pain
A love so silly I laugh all day every day
A love so supportive I now understand nurturing
A love so beautiful my whole world sparkles like jewels in the sun
201 more years please.
A love so deep it aches in my bones when we are apart
A love so pure it cleanses away years of pain
A love so silly I laugh all day every day
A love so supportive I now understand nurturing
A love so beautiful my whole world sparkles like jewels in the sun
201 more years please.
June 14, 2024 at 1:36 PM
21 years today.
A love so deep it aches in my bones when we are apart
A love so pure it cleanses away years of pain
A love so silly I laugh all day every day
A love so supportive I now understand nurturing
A love so beautiful my whole world sparkles like jewels in the sun
201 more years please.
A love so deep it aches in my bones when we are apart
A love so pure it cleanses away years of pain
A love so silly I laugh all day every day
A love so supportive I now understand nurturing
A love so beautiful my whole world sparkles like jewels in the sun
201 more years please.
9 months of silence
From February until October that year, nobody spoke to me in the house. 9 months and nobody in my house spoke to me unless they had to, to tell me what my plans were for this child of mine.
Yeah I'm pro-choice because I didn't get any choices. No idea what I'd have chosen.
From February until October that year, nobody spoke to me in the house. 9 months and nobody in my house spoke to me unless they had to, to tell me what my plans were for this child of mine.
Yeah I'm pro-choice because I didn't get any choices. No idea what I'd have chosen.
May 31, 2024 at 8:51 PM
9 months of silence
From February until October that year, nobody spoke to me in the house. 9 months and nobody in my house spoke to me unless they had to, to tell me what my plans were for this child of mine.
Yeah I'm pro-choice because I didn't get any choices. No idea what I'd have chosen.
From February until October that year, nobody spoke to me in the house. 9 months and nobody in my house spoke to me unless they had to, to tell me what my plans were for this child of mine.
Yeah I'm pro-choice because I didn't get any choices. No idea what I'd have chosen.
The light of a new day
A new beginning each dawn
A fresh start
Yesterday's mistakes are just that; Yesterday's
The sun doesn't hold your past to use it against you
Celebrate the beauty that is emerging today.
A new beginning each dawn
A fresh start
Yesterday's mistakes are just that; Yesterday's
The sun doesn't hold your past to use it against you
Celebrate the beauty that is emerging today.
May 27, 2024 at 2:06 PM
The light of a new day
A new beginning each dawn
A fresh start
Yesterday's mistakes are just that; Yesterday's
The sun doesn't hold your past to use it against you
Celebrate the beauty that is emerging today.
A new beginning each dawn
A fresh start
Yesterday's mistakes are just that; Yesterday's
The sun doesn't hold your past to use it against you
Celebrate the beauty that is emerging today.
Loneliness I believe is what will eventually do me in.
May 8, 2024 at 6:20 PM
Loneliness I believe is what will eventually do me in.
My jaw clenched so tight for far too long. Not saying is painful. It chokes you in your sleep and stifles your ability to eat and breathe from the ball of raging lava stuck in your psyche. Never being heard is a different lonesome.
March 26, 2024 at 1:09 AM
My jaw clenched so tight for far too long. Not saying is painful. It chokes you in your sleep and stifles your ability to eat and breathe from the ball of raging lava stuck in your psyche. Never being heard is a different lonesome.
Breaking the chains of ancient words; an arduous process. Work that is taking the whole of a lifetime to chip away but took moments of your breath to chisel hate of myself into my soul.
March 14, 2024 at 2:01 PM
Breaking the chains of ancient words; an arduous process. Work that is taking the whole of a lifetime to chip away but took moments of your breath to chisel hate of myself into my soul.
Choking on forgiving words.
I forgive you for me.
I'm unsure if you are capable of believing you need to be forgiven.
I'd say I miss you but that's a lie.
I miss what I thought you were to me.
I forgive you for me.
I'm unsure if you are capable of believing you need to be forgiven.
I'd say I miss you but that's a lie.
I miss what I thought you were to me.
March 14, 2024 at 1:03 AM
Choking on forgiving words.
I forgive you for me.
I'm unsure if you are capable of believing you need to be forgiven.
I'd say I miss you but that's a lie.
I miss what I thought you were to me.
I forgive you for me.
I'm unsure if you are capable of believing you need to be forgiven.
I'd say I miss you but that's a lie.
I miss what I thought you were to me.
Twelve a.m. I'm awake, waiting to be summoned after their fighting. If I just listen well enough or understand her pain, maybe I can keep her in a jovial mood. But this is who she is. She's not ok unless I'm not. So I choke back the hurt because seeing that makes her enraged for my weakness.
February 18, 2024 at 2:47 PM
Twelve a.m. I'm awake, waiting to be summoned after their fighting. If I just listen well enough or understand her pain, maybe I can keep her in a jovial mood. But this is who she is. She's not ok unless I'm not. So I choke back the hurt because seeing that makes her enraged for my weakness.
You said I should reach out to you when I needed help. So I reached out for help when I was drowning. You held my head under til I learned my lesson. The lesson was don't ask family for help. An old lesson to be sure but sometimes we need reminders I guess.
February 11, 2024 at 1:48 PM
You said I should reach out to you when I needed help. So I reached out for help when I was drowning. You held my head under til I learned my lesson. The lesson was don't ask family for help. An old lesson to be sure but sometimes we need reminders I guess.