been thinking about what to do with this account, bc i might as well do something besides post my tweets on here. but, the idea i have is more personal than my twt and the thought is scaring me, but i might go through with it

swallowing an alkaline battery whole like it’s a fish oil pill

going to a nursing home to feed everyone big macs pre-chewed by yours truly and logging the hours as community service

wtf does invalid handle mean?? i don’t care that much to actually look into it

leave his asshole smelling like a rainforest cafe

i’m gonna drive to work tomorrow with my feet. fuck it, i hope i get pulled over and the cop thinks im cool and orgasms on the spot

there’s something so funny about a white woman who’s REALLY into hip-hop. i will not elaborate or unpack what this could imply

so you’re telling me there’s no drafts? i literally rely on drafts to post ideas

you can tell how ran through a man is by how large his peehole is

do you think when trump gets back in the white house he’s gonna just take his shoes and pants off and sit in the oval office with his cheeks spread and sticking to the leather seat, feetsies spread on the desk and eat him a big mac?

1 of my oomfs on twitter is so funny bc she came to the conclusion that i was a man and then asked me if i was into women a couple days later because she’s into women

i was uninspired since the weakerthans retired

if i adopted an old man that vaguely looked like the home depot mascot, do you think they’d give me stuff for free?

getting a tramp stamp of this picture of elon as an early birthday gift

what the hell do i even post on here? i cant just post whatever i do on twitter