🎨 doeremi_

No image for this science facts cuz I'm on vacation

And backwards it's Le game le, just needed to point that out

Huh

You passed the vibe check, nice lol

W

To be honest, I don't know what the purpose of this rant is, or if I want to change anything. I just needed to write it out.

I don't expect people to see or read any of this, nor do I expect them to understand fully. I just needed to say it

I understand people are curious, but it's so hard to connect with new people when there is such a barrier of understanding.

I also don't want my disability to make people see what I do as more impressive. I just wanna be me without the social and limiting aspects of my disability.

I chose to just keep restricting what I could stream to avoid both.

I desperately wanted, and still do, to be free from the world where I am constantly fighting an uphill battle to not be seen as less capable or bombarded with the same questions about my condition over and over.

It was liberating, but to avoid people knowing what my disability was, I had to limit what things I could do.

Many times in stream, I realized what I was attempting just wasn't possible without compromising my content quality or opening up about my disability.

Having to deal with people's misconceptions and unease of the unfamiliar (which I totally get) left me wanting to escape that reality.

Vtubing was that escape, inspired by ironmouse from when she was less open about her medical situation.

Twitch plays Pokemon wouldn't have been interesting with 5 concurrent viewers. So I want to stream, but what I want to do isn't realistic for my size.

(2)

I've mentioned having a disability on several occasions. I've had it since birth and its noticeable to complete strangers in my offline life.

I love the live aspect of streaming and the possibilities my background in computer science can bring to it. But those ideas require a larger viewer base which you only get by streaming to begin with.

(1)

Idk if this is odd, but I really don't enjoy streaming games.

I've never been interested in "getting big", and have had the right mix of luck and hard work to find success professionally I never could've imagined.

So, why do a hobby you aren't enjoying, right? Well, that's only half true.

Nuclear testing obviously lol l