We’ll have no underage turnip-botherers here! If you fail to convince BlueSky of your antiquity, you can also send me a message through my website: boatmancryptics.co.uk/postbox/

To everyone who didn't win: thank you for playing. You can still order a signed copy of my book and use the code iretweeted when you check out to claim free UK postage (or equivalent value) as your reward!
boatmancryptics.co.uk/product-cate...

Thank you to everyone who reposted here (and 38 on X)! There can be only one winner, and this year's random number is 0.6013, which means that a signed book goes to @vdotedgy.bsky.social Congratulations! Look out for a DM from me so that you can give me your details and say which book you'd like...

Glad you enjoy them! Practice makes ... well ok, perhaps not perfect, but it definitely makes them easier.

Honest is good. Good luck!

Sure, it’s worth talking about the effectiveness of particular measures in the face of climate change, but targeting a 10% net gain in biodiversity should mean just that, an overall gain. It will fail if we focus on the visibility of policy choices instead of measuring the results.

“If swift bricks … bat boxes or hedgehog highways [became] a tick box exercise [they might not] be added to the Biodiversity Net Gain metric” = we’re not going to act to slow plummeting biodiversity because we might not get any credit for whatever impact these measures have. Very poor thinking …

Eek! Have you noticed many chemtrails over your house recently? (*)

Hope you’re starting to get back to normal now.

(*) Note to other respondents: please don’t take this comment seriously; I’m well aware that contrails are actually the breath of angels exhaling in wonder at human ingenuity.

Why, thank you!

Ex-prince Andrew,
Now a common man, drew
Unfortunate attention
To himself in a TV interview, which made us all question why he wasn’t in detention.

I don't think any of them have managed to sneak past me into the darkened house, but one or two have got close, and I can't quite shake the suspicion that I may come across a small living glow-in-the-dark skeleton somewhere in the house later tonight.

So, at least 90 underage ghouls treated so far in 20 groups (it's hard to know exactly how many of them there are when it's dark and all you can see is what's in front of your beak.

Everyone should have a black gown in their wardrobe. Mine's been there for 45 years.

No children have been harmed in the making of this Hallowe'en. Yet.

I like to think so. Welcome to the lair of THE LORD PENGUIN !!

… and so, darkness falls …

Yes, ready …

I think we’re ready for the trick-or-treaters … The pale round things are potatoes. With spiders.