Bob
@bobbysketch.bsky.social
Talks some shit and think it's funny.
Likes a lot of chocolate on a biscuit, would like to start a society of like minded individuals.
Likes a lot of chocolate on a biscuit, would like to start a society of like minded individuals.
Did somebody say "audio hallucinations"???
January 24, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Did somebody say "audio hallucinations"???
Take my new 115 part quiz to see if you have ADD!
January 18, 2026 at 7:12 AM
Take my new 115 part quiz to see if you have ADD!
I wish there was a sequel to DaVinci's Vitruvian Man so we got to see dat ass
January 15, 2026 at 1:27 PM
I wish there was a sequel to DaVinci's Vitruvian Man so we got to see dat ass
So there IS a mountain high enough and valley deep enough, if double negatives cancel out.
January 1, 2026 at 3:45 PM
So there IS a mountain high enough and valley deep enough, if double negatives cancel out.
If Ronan Atkinson was William Shakespeare:
Hibble.....
...._Bibble_....
...till and tribble
Hibble.....
...._Bibble_....
...till and tribble
December 26, 2025 at 2:11 PM
If Ronan Atkinson was William Shakespeare:
Hibble.....
...._Bibble_....
...till and tribble
Hibble.....
...._Bibble_....
...till and tribble
This time of year divides people in two:
You're either
Father Christmas Is real
Or
Father Christmas Palestine
You're either
Father Christmas Is real
Or
Father Christmas Palestine
December 25, 2025 at 7:51 PM
This time of year divides people in two:
You're either
Father Christmas Is real
Or
Father Christmas Palestine
You're either
Father Christmas Is real
Or
Father Christmas Palestine
Do I speak French?
_Non_
Do I still try?
_Si!_
_Non_
Do I still try?
_Si!_
December 24, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Do I speak French?
_Non_
Do I still try?
_Si!_
_Non_
Do I still try?
_Si!_
I was named after my grandfather, Dennis, because of the linear nature of time
December 24, 2025 at 12:24 PM
I was named after my grandfather, Dennis, because of the linear nature of time
If Batman is so good at martial arts how come he's got a yellow belt?
December 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
If Batman is so good at martial arts how come he's got a yellow belt?
My tongue when things are in my mouth:
Food - Swallow
Drink - Swallow
A coin - Swallow
My own spit - Swallow
A paracetamol with water - I don't know what you want me to do with this.
Food - Swallow
Drink - Swallow
A coin - Swallow
My own spit - Swallow
A paracetamol with water - I don't know what you want me to do with this.
October 16, 2025 at 9:24 AM
My tongue when things are in my mouth:
Food - Swallow
Drink - Swallow
A coin - Swallow
My own spit - Swallow
A paracetamol with water - I don't know what you want me to do with this.
Food - Swallow
Drink - Swallow
A coin - Swallow
My own spit - Swallow
A paracetamol with water - I don't know what you want me to do with this.
I used to steal jokes from Mitch Hedburg
October 9, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I used to steal jokes from Mitch Hedburg
Even though they were both at peak popularity at the same time, pop singer Seal and pop gladiator Wolf never met, as they live in very different biomes.
September 5, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Even though they were both at peak popularity at the same time, pop singer Seal and pop gladiator Wolf never met, as they live in very different biomes.
New ££ idea
A dachshund in a hot dog outfit.
For optimum humour and profit, put it in a car with closed windows on a hot day, and announce "There's a hot dog in this car. Who would do such a thing?"
I'm 73% positive that onlookers would laugh before attempting to smash the windows.
A dachshund in a hot dog outfit.
For optimum humour and profit, put it in a car with closed windows on a hot day, and announce "There's a hot dog in this car. Who would do such a thing?"
I'm 73% positive that onlookers would laugh before attempting to smash the windows.
August 24, 2025 at 8:02 AM
New ££ idea
A dachshund in a hot dog outfit.
For optimum humour and profit, put it in a car with closed windows on a hot day, and announce "There's a hot dog in this car. Who would do such a thing?"
I'm 73% positive that onlookers would laugh before attempting to smash the windows.
A dachshund in a hot dog outfit.
For optimum humour and profit, put it in a car with closed windows on a hot day, and announce "There's a hot dog in this car. Who would do such a thing?"
I'm 73% positive that onlookers would laugh before attempting to smash the windows.
Someone has stolen my dog walking equipment.
The police are looking for leads.
The police are looking for leads.
August 20, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Someone has stolen my dog walking equipment.
The police are looking for leads.
The police are looking for leads.
Not to brag, but I've been claiming to be over 18 on the internet since I was 15
July 26, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Not to brag, but I've been claiming to be over 18 on the internet since I was 15
Coconut = Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple = Double Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple + Banana = Tripical
Coconut + Pineapple = Double Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple + Banana = Tripical
June 27, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Coconut = Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple = Double Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple + Banana = Tripical
Coconut + Pineapple = Double Tropical
Coconut + Pineapple + Banana = Tripical
I asked 80s synth band Flock of Seagulls who they support in this latest war, and they responded
"Iran (So Far)"
"Iran (So Far)"
June 23, 2025 at 8:29 AM
I asked 80s synth band Flock of Seagulls who they support in this latest war, and they responded
"Iran (So Far)"
"Iran (So Far)"
Trick a chum into thinking they have tinnitus by sewing a ringing phone into the fabric of their clothes.
June 10, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Trick a chum into thinking they have tinnitus by sewing a ringing phone into the fabric of their clothes.
Convince your friends they're having a stroke by following them around and burning toast.
June 10, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Convince your friends they're having a stroke by following them around and burning toast.
Give a pal "black eyes" by handing them a binoculars. When they look through the lens, punch the binoculars into your pals face. Hey pepsi! Two hilarious black eyes. What a prank!
June 10, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Give a pal "black eyes" by handing them a binoculars. When they look through the lens, punch the binoculars into your pals face. Hey pepsi! Two hilarious black eyes. What a prank!
If you don't like Frank Zappa, we can't be friends.
If you DO like Frank Zappa, you're a pretentious cunt who thinks your music preferences are better than others, and I don't want to be your friend.
If you DO like Frank Zappa, you're a pretentious cunt who thinks your music preferences are better than others, and I don't want to be your friend.
June 9, 2025 at 1:40 PM
If you don't like Frank Zappa, we can't be friends.
If you DO like Frank Zappa, you're a pretentious cunt who thinks your music preferences are better than others, and I don't want to be your friend.
If you DO like Frank Zappa, you're a pretentious cunt who thinks your music preferences are better than others, and I don't want to be your friend.
I can't tell the difference between films. It's all Grease to me.
June 4, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I can't tell the difference between films. It's all Grease to me.
If Gillette made penises, we'd be on Sixskins by now.
June 4, 2025 at 11:30 AM
If Gillette made penises, we'd be on Sixskins by now.
If I'm ever asked if I'm "Friend or foe?" by an armed guard outside a castle wall, I'll probably 100% of the time say friend.
Who wouldn't? Answering as a foe is gonna get you stabbed, or at the very least, you'll get off on the wrong foot. Even if I am a foe.
Especially if I am a foe.
Who wouldn't? Answering as a foe is gonna get you stabbed, or at the very least, you'll get off on the wrong foot. Even if I am a foe.
Especially if I am a foe.
May 30, 2025 at 8:52 AM
If I'm ever asked if I'm "Friend or foe?" by an armed guard outside a castle wall, I'll probably 100% of the time say friend.
Who wouldn't? Answering as a foe is gonna get you stabbed, or at the very least, you'll get off on the wrong foot. Even if I am a foe.
Especially if I am a foe.
Who wouldn't? Answering as a foe is gonna get you stabbed, or at the very least, you'll get off on the wrong foot. Even if I am a foe.
Especially if I am a foe.