Book Retorts
@bookretorts.bsky.social
The podcast about trying to explain your weird media finds to your friends. New episode every other Wednesday.
Join us. We're new here, and we're pretty cool. 👋
www.bookretorts.com
Join us. We're new here, and we're pretty cool. 👋
www.bookretorts.com
Well, she made it 33 minutes into the episode until she realized it was easier to nap than edit.
December 20, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Well, she made it 33 minutes into the episode until she realized it was easier to nap than edit.
Danielle recaps a movie containing one of the biggest plot twists in movie history: G-Force.
When the guinea pig spy division (?) of the FBI is threatened, Darwin (guinea pig) and his elite team take on Bill Nighy as an arms dealer cum appliance magnate who is threatening to destroy humanity.
When the guinea pig spy division (?) of the FBI is threatened, Darwin (guinea pig) and his elite team take on Bill Nighy as an arms dealer cum appliance magnate who is threatening to destroy humanity.
December 14, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Danielle recaps a movie containing one of the biggest plot twists in movie history: G-Force.
When the guinea pig spy division (?) of the FBI is threatened, Darwin (guinea pig) and his elite team take on Bill Nighy as an arms dealer cum appliance magnate who is threatening to destroy humanity.
When the guinea pig spy division (?) of the FBI is threatened, Darwin (guinea pig) and his elite team take on Bill Nighy as an arms dealer cum appliance magnate who is threatening to destroy humanity.
Danielle brings back the killer crabs with Guy N. Smith's pulp classic The Origin of the Crabs.
If you were wondering where the cow-sized murderous crustaceans came from, are you not in luck.
Special guest Filip with Mind Duck Books
If you were wondering where the cow-sized murderous crustaceans came from, are you not in luck.
Special guest Filip with Mind Duck Books
October 30, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Danielle brings back the killer crabs with Guy N. Smith's pulp classic The Origin of the Crabs.
If you were wondering where the cow-sized murderous crustaceans came from, are you not in luck.
Special guest Filip with Mind Duck Books
If you were wondering where the cow-sized murderous crustaceans came from, are you not in luck.
Special guest Filip with Mind Duck Books
Yeah, we are! 👏 Sweet Valley High 4eva
October 17, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Yeah, we are! 👏 Sweet Valley High 4eva
Slugs is back, baby! Now with mind control. Same great taste, sodium free.
October 16, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Slugs is back, baby! Now with mind control. Same great taste, sodium free.
Danielle finishes her recap of Sweet Valley High: Werewolf Edition
The Wakefield Twins continue to be terrible with almost zero consequences aside from other people dying. Also, there are werewolves. Probably.
The Wakefield Twins continue to be terrible with almost zero consequences aside from other people dying. Also, there are werewolves. Probably.
October 4, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Danielle finishes her recap of Sweet Valley High: Werewolf Edition
The Wakefield Twins continue to be terrible with almost zero consequences aside from other people dying. Also, there are werewolves. Probably.
The Wakefield Twins continue to be terrible with almost zero consequences aside from other people dying. Also, there are werewolves. Probably.
Reposted by Book Retorts
This week’s recap includes a work retreat, a lost post-it, and a fake family.
Tune in:
youtu.be/_uDOKz62tAE?...
Tune in:
youtu.be/_uDOKz62tAE?...
Dead Like Me recap: s2e3 "Ghost Story"
YouTube video by The Rewatch Recap
youtu.be
September 11, 2025 at 7:56 PM
This week’s recap includes a work retreat, a lost post-it, and a fake family.
Tune in:
youtu.be/_uDOKz62tAE?...
Tune in:
youtu.be/_uDOKz62tAE?...
Danielle goes back to her roots with a recap of Sweet Valley High: Werewolf Edition.
When the Wakefield twins get a summer internship at a newspaper in London, they immediately think a grisly murder is the work of a werewolf. Which is, incidentally, why we don't let teenagers solve crimes.
When the Wakefield twins get a summer internship at a newspaper in London, they immediately think a grisly murder is the work of a werewolf. Which is, incidentally, why we don't let teenagers solve crimes.
September 3, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Danielle goes back to her roots with a recap of Sweet Valley High: Werewolf Edition.
When the Wakefield twins get a summer internship at a newspaper in London, they immediately think a grisly murder is the work of a werewolf. Which is, incidentally, why we don't let teenagers solve crimes.
When the Wakefield twins get a summer internship at a newspaper in London, they immediately think a grisly murder is the work of a werewolf. Which is, incidentally, why we don't let teenagers solve crimes.
Sam brings out a core memory with his recap of the 1995 direct-to-video Magic Island.
When angsty teen, Jack, gets sucked into a magical book, he befriends a group of buccaneers in search of a lost treasure. Thankfully, he's got an exhibitionist mermaid and his super soaker on hand.
When angsty teen, Jack, gets sucked into a magical book, he befriends a group of buccaneers in search of a lost treasure. Thankfully, he's got an exhibitionist mermaid and his super soaker on hand.
August 20, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Sam brings out a core memory with his recap of the 1995 direct-to-video Magic Island.
When angsty teen, Jack, gets sucked into a magical book, he befriends a group of buccaneers in search of a lost treasure. Thankfully, he's got an exhibitionist mermaid and his super soaker on hand.
When angsty teen, Jack, gets sucked into a magical book, he befriends a group of buccaneers in search of a lost treasure. Thankfully, he's got an exhibitionist mermaid and his super soaker on hand.
Danielle recaps the adult horror movie version of Smart House with the 2024 movie AfrAId.
When a family gets suckered into having an evil Alexa in their house, possible demons ensue. Also, John Cho.
When a family gets suckered into having an evil Alexa in their house, possible demons ensue. Also, John Cho.
August 8, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Danielle recaps the adult horror movie version of Smart House with the 2024 movie AfrAId.
When a family gets suckered into having an evil Alexa in their house, possible demons ensue. Also, John Cho.
When a family gets suckered into having an evil Alexa in their house, possible demons ensue. Also, John Cho.
Sam finally gets to let loose a little post-Hyperion with a recap of The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice; the third in the franchise, now with vampires! Bible retcon! Opera!
If you like your theology direct from Book Retorts with a side of Noah Wyle (and who doesn't), this one's for you.
If you like your theology direct from Book Retorts with a side of Noah Wyle (and who doesn't), this one's for you.
July 23, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Sam finally gets to let loose a little post-Hyperion with a recap of The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice; the third in the franchise, now with vampires! Bible retcon! Opera!
If you like your theology direct from Book Retorts with a side of Noah Wyle (and who doesn't), this one's for you.
If you like your theology direct from Book Retorts with a side of Noah Wyle (and who doesn't), this one's for you.
Summer Break comes to a close and Danielle finishes up The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins. Which, unsurprisingly ends in MURDER. And songbirds. And snakes.
July 17, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Summer Break comes to a close and Danielle finishes up The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins. Which, unsurprisingly ends in MURDER. And songbirds. And snakes.
We're on Summer Break (aka we're busy as heck), and so we're being as on-the-nose as possible with a re-release of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.
(Accidental murder, they did accidental murder)
(Accidental murder, they did accidental murder)
June 18, 2025 at 2:37 AM
We're on Summer Break (aka we're busy as heck), and so we're being as on-the-nose as possible with a re-release of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.
(Accidental murder, they did accidental murder)
(Accidental murder, they did accidental murder)
Attention Class!
Today is our final exam.
Today is our final exam.
May 30, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Attention Class!
Today is our final exam.
Today is our final exam.
Have you studied for your Hyperion final?
Exam on Wednesday.
Exam on Wednesday.
May 26, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Have you studied for your Hyperion final?
Exam on Wednesday.
Exam on Wednesday.
Three long years in the making: the finale of the Hyperion Saga is here!
Sam recaps the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmoms. In which we find out just how exhausting Raul is, how much cooler Aenea is, and the Tree of Pain gets to make a long-awaited road trip.
Sam recaps the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmoms. In which we find out just how exhausting Raul is, how much cooler Aenea is, and the Tree of Pain gets to make a long-awaited road trip.
May 3, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Three long years in the making: the finale of the Hyperion Saga is here!
Sam recaps the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmoms. In which we find out just how exhausting Raul is, how much cooler Aenea is, and the Tree of Pain gets to make a long-awaited road trip.
Sam recaps the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmoms. In which we find out just how exhausting Raul is, how much cooler Aenea is, and the Tree of Pain gets to make a long-awaited road trip.
Sam FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY finishes the Hyperion saga with the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmons.
The Tree of Pain goes on a road trip, Aenea takes on the Pope, and we finally get to find out why Raul is in his stupid cat box.
The Tree of Pain goes on a road trip, Aenea takes on the Pope, and we finally get to find out why Raul is in his stupid cat box.
May 1, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Sam FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY finishes the Hyperion saga with the last of The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmons.
The Tree of Pain goes on a road trip, Aenea takes on the Pope, and we finally get to find out why Raul is in his stupid cat box.
The Tree of Pain goes on a road trip, Aenea takes on the Pope, and we finally get to find out why Raul is in his stupid cat box.
Danielle goes back to her roots with the Disney Channel Original Movie (remake?) "Under Wraps".
Kids find a stolen mummy in their neighbor's house. It comes to life. It learns to dance. Chaos ensues.
Kids find a stolen mummy in their neighbor's house. It comes to life. It learns to dance. Chaos ensues.
April 24, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Danielle goes back to her roots with the Disney Channel Original Movie (remake?) "Under Wraps".
Kids find a stolen mummy in their neighbor's house. It comes to life. It learns to dance. Chaos ensues.
Kids find a stolen mummy in their neighbor's house. It comes to life. It learns to dance. Chaos ensues.
Sam chickens out on finishing Hyperion and thus another short is born.
Do all sci-fi reviews sound the same? Find out as we quiz each other with Hyperion book reviews. Two are real, one is for another sci-fi epic entirely. Can Danielle tell the difference between Hyperion and Jupiter Ascending?
Do all sci-fi reviews sound the same? Find out as we quiz each other with Hyperion book reviews. Two are real, one is for another sci-fi epic entirely. Can Danielle tell the difference between Hyperion and Jupiter Ascending?
April 3, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Sam chickens out on finishing Hyperion and thus another short is born.
Do all sci-fi reviews sound the same? Find out as we quiz each other with Hyperion book reviews. Two are real, one is for another sci-fi epic entirely. Can Danielle tell the difference between Hyperion and Jupiter Ascending?
Do all sci-fi reviews sound the same? Find out as we quiz each other with Hyperion book reviews. Two are real, one is for another sci-fi epic entirely. Can Danielle tell the difference between Hyperion and Jupiter Ascending?
Reposted by Book Retorts
Just me being weird and talking about why I love TV 📺
Check out the latest episode ⤵️
(Audio format also available - link in profile)
youtu.be/89hYZSyLRe4?...
Check out the latest episode ⤵️
(Audio format also available - link in profile)
youtu.be/89hYZSyLRe4?...
An Introduction (2025)
YouTube video by The Rewatch Recap
youtu.be
March 25, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Just me being weird and talking about why I love TV 📺
Check out the latest episode ⤵️
(Audio format also available - link in profile)
youtu.be/89hYZSyLRe4?...
Check out the latest episode ⤵️
(Audio format also available - link in profile)
youtu.be/89hYZSyLRe4?...
Danielle recaps the 1999 mini-series The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns.
Randy Quaid and Colm Meaney join forces to fight possibly racist fairies in a war that threatens to destroy Mother Nature herself. Whoopi Goldberg doles out punishment by making them die harder.
Randy Quaid and Colm Meaney join forces to fight possibly racist fairies in a war that threatens to destroy Mother Nature herself. Whoopi Goldberg doles out punishment by making them die harder.
March 22, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Danielle recaps the 1999 mini-series The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns.
Randy Quaid and Colm Meaney join forces to fight possibly racist fairies in a war that threatens to destroy Mother Nature herself. Whoopi Goldberg doles out punishment by making them die harder.
Randy Quaid and Colm Meaney join forces to fight possibly racist fairies in a war that threatens to destroy Mother Nature herself. Whoopi Goldberg doles out punishment by making them die harder.
Reposted by Book Retorts
NEW EPISODE!
Ghostwriter Recap: “Who Burned Mr. Brinker’s Store?” Part 1
In our 2nd GW recap, Lauren from @fashiongrunge.bsky.social returns to break down & question the facts that lead to a case of arson at the local hangout.
Link in profile (Now available on YouTube) #tv #nostalgia #millennial
Ghostwriter Recap: “Who Burned Mr. Brinker’s Store?” Part 1
In our 2nd GW recap, Lauren from @fashiongrunge.bsky.social returns to break down & question the facts that lead to a case of arson at the local hangout.
Link in profile (Now available on YouTube) #tv #nostalgia #millennial
February 26, 2025 at 5:50 PM
NEW EPISODE!
Ghostwriter Recap: “Who Burned Mr. Brinker’s Store?” Part 1
In our 2nd GW recap, Lauren from @fashiongrunge.bsky.social returns to break down & question the facts that lead to a case of arson at the local hangout.
Link in profile (Now available on YouTube) #tv #nostalgia #millennial
Ghostwriter Recap: “Who Burned Mr. Brinker’s Store?” Part 1
In our 2nd GW recap, Lauren from @fashiongrunge.bsky.social returns to break down & question the facts that lead to a case of arson at the local hangout.
Link in profile (Now available on YouTube) #tv #nostalgia #millennial
Reposted by Book Retorts
Danielle recaps the "best horror movie of 2024," Abigail.
Imagine Home Alone, but if Kevin danced to Swan Lake with decapitated bodies.
Imagine Home Alone, but if Kevin danced to Swan Lake with decapitated bodies.
February 20, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Danielle recaps the "best horror movie of 2024," Abigail.
Imagine Home Alone, but if Kevin danced to Swan Lake with decapitated bodies.
Imagine Home Alone, but if Kevin danced to Swan Lake with decapitated bodies.
Reposted by Book Retorts
