Is it even really an administrative meeting if I'm not crying?

Sorry I missed your message, I was using my phone to watch 18 videos of a cat named Momo creating pottery at a wheel.

Wouldn't it be funny if Lady Gaga meant to be Lady Haha but her phone autocorrected the first person she ran it by and they were so in love with it that she kept it?

I don't wanna brag, but I successfully did dishes.

I don't know why I expected St. Patrick's Day to NOT start out with a migraine, a lost drill charger, my kid sobbing about forgotten leprechaun traps, and then a SpongeBob marathon, but here I am at 10:30am.

Listen, I'm completely devoted to my partner, but the way that guy at #Aldi just carefully stacked my items by type in my cart instead of just flinging them in.... 👀 *fans self*

ADHD in middle age is having a post-it note taped to the phone with a script of how you're supposed to answer... when you've been at the job for 15 years but still get phone paralysis. The phone rings and I'm all, "Am I a librarian? Am I a daycare teacher? Am I a deli worker? WHERE AM I?"

I think my favorite part of this particular spring is the way the geese are flying back and forth like they can't figure out what's going on either.