Shitpost Malone
@boonetang.bsky.social
Incredibly handsome anonymous internet guy, aspberger flipper, sloppy EDH deck assembler, professional seepy head, also the actual protagonist of reality
do NOT follow if you’re a juggalo or juggalo adjacent, this is not a safe space 4 u 😤🤡🚫
do NOT follow if you’re a juggalo or juggalo adjacent, this is not a safe space 4 u 😤🤡🚫
Call me a vape the way I’d be getting sucked on rn if I wasn’t so dead
September 14, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Call me a vape the way I’d be getting sucked on rn if I wasn’t so dead
Me seeing a dog bark at his reflection: oh that’s cute, he thinks it’s another dog
Me hearing my voice in a recording: who the fuck is that
Me hearing my voice in a recording: who the fuck is that
April 28, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Me seeing a dog bark at his reflection: oh that’s cute, he thinks it’s another dog
Me hearing my voice in a recording: who the fuck is that
Me hearing my voice in a recording: who the fuck is that
I bet an unfinished task hate to see me not coming
February 20, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I bet an unfinished task hate to see me not coming
starting to think it’s not Jesus who keeps giving me these hardest battles 🤔
January 23, 2025 at 11:40 AM
starting to think it’s not Jesus who keeps giving me these hardest battles 🤔
Guys, I’ll have to explain later but do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give a mouse a cookie
January 22, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Guys, I’ll have to explain later but do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give a mouse a cookie
Something about seeing RFK Jr. makes me want beef jerky
January 20, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Something about seeing RFK Jr. makes me want beef jerky
Gooning is to masturbation as making love is to having sex
January 15, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Gooning is to masturbation as making love is to having sex
THEY don’t want you to think for yourself
THEY don’t want you to FIND Waldo
THEY are HIDING Carmen Sandiego
THEY want you complacent
THEY want you to “twist it” and “pull it” and “bop-it”
THEY want you to do what “Simon” ordains
THEY don’t want you to FIND Waldo
THEY are HIDING Carmen Sandiego
THEY want you complacent
THEY want you to “twist it” and “pull it” and “bop-it”
THEY want you to do what “Simon” ordains
January 12, 2025 at 8:48 AM
THEY don’t want you to think for yourself
THEY don’t want you to FIND Waldo
THEY are HIDING Carmen Sandiego
THEY want you complacent
THEY want you to “twist it” and “pull it” and “bop-it”
THEY want you to do what “Simon” ordains
THEY don’t want you to FIND Waldo
THEY are HIDING Carmen Sandiego
THEY want you complacent
THEY want you to “twist it” and “pull it” and “bop-it”
THEY want you to do what “Simon” ordains
damn girl, you fine as hell 🥵
you got a substack??
you got a substack??
January 11, 2025 at 6:01 PM
damn girl, you fine as hell 🥵
you got a substack??
you got a substack??
Me on the company Slack channel when everyone starts telling me my memes are “inappropriate” and “morally reprehensible”
January 1, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Me on the company Slack channel when everyone starts telling me my memes are “inappropriate” and “morally reprehensible”
I ain’t transphobic but MtF is the worst part of week
December 31, 2024 at 5:52 AM
I ain’t transphobic but MtF is the worst part of week
The Republican Party is a big tent.
Y’know. Like the circus. So there’s room for all the clowns.
Y’know. Like the circus. So there’s room for all the clowns.
December 29, 2024 at 3:01 PM
The Republican Party is a big tent.
Y’know. Like the circus. So there’s room for all the clowns.
Y’know. Like the circus. So there’s room for all the clowns.
jokes on you Vivek, I grew up watching Smart Guy
December 28, 2024 at 10:15 PM
jokes on you Vivek, I grew up watching Smart Guy
Reposted by Shitpost Malone
If you choke a man out, and he loses consciousness, and you CONTINUE to keep choking him, you are intentionally killing him.
This shouldn’t be controversial.
It’s the equivalent of smothering someone in their sleep.
This shouldn’t be controversial.
It’s the equivalent of smothering someone in their sleep.
December 28, 2024 at 3:27 PM
If you choke a man out, and he loses consciousness, and you CONTINUE to keep choking him, you are intentionally killing him.
This shouldn’t be controversial.
It’s the equivalent of smothering someone in their sleep.
This shouldn’t be controversial.
It’s the equivalent of smothering someone in their sleep.
Bad times ahead 😔
December 27, 2024 at 6:15 AM
Bad times ahead 😔
But in real life
December 24, 2024 at 10:06 PM
But in real life
I can’t listen to a single word that comes out of RFK’s mouth
Not because I disagree with him
But because my AI noise cancelling software recognizes his voice as “someone sawing wood”
Not because I disagree with him
But because my AI noise cancelling software recognizes his voice as “someone sawing wood”
December 21, 2024 at 6:26 AM
I can’t listen to a single word that comes out of RFK’s mouth
Not because I disagree with him
But because my AI noise cancelling software recognizes his voice as “someone sawing wood”
Not because I disagree with him
But because my AI noise cancelling software recognizes his voice as “someone sawing wood”
cant talk nw in court 4 a🧂and 🔋
December 16, 2024 at 1:24 AM
cant talk nw in court 4 a🧂and 🔋
It’s really fucked up that George Soros and Klaus Schwab are conspiring to pay all the women in my area to ignore me
December 14, 2024 at 7:34 PM
It’s really fucked up that George Soros and Klaus Schwab are conspiring to pay all the women in my area to ignore me
Country?
You mean emo-horsegirl-core?
You mean emo-horsegirl-core?
December 10, 2024 at 11:04 PM
Country?
You mean emo-horsegirl-core?
You mean emo-horsegirl-core?
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE”
*continues to take it*
*continues to take it*
December 7, 2024 at 2:56 PM
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE”
*continues to take it*
*continues to take it*
you guys don’t understand, Elon Musk won’t be able to take humanity to Mars as long as DnD is woke
December 6, 2024 at 4:23 PM
you guys don’t understand, Elon Musk won’t be able to take humanity to Mars as long as DnD is woke
My Japanese Teacher: “Your progress is really good, it shows you’ve been practicing.
But you need to stop referring to yourself as the Dragon of Dojima”
But you need to stop referring to yourself as the Dragon of Dojima”
December 3, 2024 at 5:04 PM
My Japanese Teacher: “Your progress is really good, it shows you’ve been practicing.
But you need to stop referring to yourself as the Dragon of Dojima”
But you need to stop referring to yourself as the Dragon of Dojima”
Anybody who says there’s gonna be a sex strike never read Lysistrata
December 2, 2024 at 6:31 AM
Anybody who says there’s gonna be a sex strike never read Lysistrata