Nothing that I need help with per say, I just want someone to exchange ideas with, befriend and help one another out. Connections

barq.app/@Boopkin

Today sucks

Then again, time is a weird concept, how we perceive it, how it works, how logically speaking things come first then the second. Where am I even going with this? <.<
Mouth diarrhea.

Good night.

I don't like conflict at the slightest. I want to have and to give kindness, love and real connections.
But my brain often has zoomies and is out of breath. I feel like relations I build tumble because I can't maintain them. I don't fit, just a fling, a whisper in the wind. Temporary existence...

I often feel like the odd one, like I can't find my tribe, group, belonging. That feeling just grows more and more.

I dislike politics because my brain can't comprehend it, it all feels like lies anyways.
I dislike war, it's so wasteful, so painful, surely full of history, but why...

to have it bad for a while for the balance to restore?
Yes, I'm writing while super tired, being so sick and tired of work and not finding a new place.

Wth should I be when I grow up? I'm 30 for crying out loud x.x
How do people even know this? How does one find happiness?