Happy birthday! You've now had 17 extra years than the average life expectancy of a medieval man, so there's that at least.

All I'm saying is if there was a goalkeeper clumsily balancing on the bar throughout the game who could stop field goals and extra points, along with additional rugby-like drop goals, I'd definitely be more inclined to watch.

If you’re rich and not a coward, this is what you’d refer to as a “market opportunity” to dominate a media ecosystem that’s about to be covered in grotesque government slop. To be a pop of color in a sea of beige will be easier than ever. People will flock to it. You gotta be a little brave, though.

Still the best band I ever got to see live. Omar twice detuning his guitar, ditching it for tambourine while nicking Robbie Williams' stool – like a Mick Foley wrestling match for chaotic set-pieces.

It's nuts innit?